no_takebacks | DPP: The Voice of Reason

cynicalshadows.livejournal.com posting in

So many times the only thing keeping our beloved pilots apart are the pilots themselves. Obviously, someone needs to sit down and talk to them, and that is where you come in. Imagine that you can have one conversation with Kara and one with Lee. What would you say, and when in the series would you say it?

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From:

coffeesuperhero.livejournal.com

Boomer: He totally does. One of the pilots caught him. They're actually a little afraid that he'll do something stupid.

Me: Well, maybe it's a good idea for us to tell her, if he won't.

Chief: Why the frak would you do that? She'll just make fun of him, and that'll be worse.

Me: (sigh) You're probably right. It's too bad, really. He seems like a nice guy. And he's frakking smoking hot.

Chief: And smart, too.

Me: Yeah, except for being so in love with Kara.

Boomer: Well, when it comes to Kara, you sure as hell know that the brain between his ears isn't gonna win out. Really does suck for him, though.

Me: Too bad he's not interested in anybody else. I'd show him a good time, if you know what I mean. Seriously, though, Boomer: tell her about it, and just see what she says. You know her pretty well.

Boomer: You really think that's a good idea?

Chief: He says he'll die if she doesn't love him, and he'll die before he tells her that he loves her, and he'll die if she tells him that she loves him, because of all the frakking history between 'em, or whatever. It's bullshit.

Me: Well, like we said. Probably she'd just make fun of him. She can be such a frakking moron.

Chief: Yeah, but she's a damn good pilot.

Me: True. Best I've ever seen.

Chief: Gods' honest truth. And really frakking smart.

Me: Even if she doesn't want you to know it.

Chief: And brave.

Me: As brave as frakking Hercules. Punching out the XO like that. Well, I feel sorry for the CAG. Should we go find Kara and tell her?

Chief: I say we keep our traps shut. Let him make up his own damn mind.

Boomer: He may lose his damn mind before he does that.

Me: Well, we'll talk about it later. I've got a lot of respect for Starbuck, and I wish she'd consider hearing him out, at least. They deserve something to be happy about, at the end of the frakking worlds.

Boomer: So say we all.

Chief (whispering): If she doesn't fall for that, I'll drink Viper fuel.

Me: (whispering) Let's get somebody to do the same thing for him. I think Felix and Dee are game. And let's get Lee to tell her that we're starting a triad game and she's invited.

Kara steps out from behind the Viper.

Kara: Are they frakking joking? Lords, I don't even know. Boomer actually sounded... sad. They feel sorry for him? Somebody actually saw him writing me a love letter?! Well. That's just bullshit. I mean, it's me. And it's Lee. And for frak's sake, it's not like I'd mock him all over Galactica if he actually...I'm not that much of a jackass. I mean, I'd probably make fun of him a little. But...godsdamn it, Lee Adama. I mean, she's right, he's not bad to look at, and he's nice enough when he's not getting feelings all over you, but... I mean... it's Lee. And after Zak... but maybe they're right. Maybe we deserve to be happy at the end of frakking everything. Or at least we deserve to get laid. Oh, shit, here he comes. Why is he looking at me like that? Maybe he really does... love me.

Lee: They sent me to tell you there's a triad game, but I can't play. I've got to make the flight roster.

Kara: Hey, Lee. Uh, thanks for telling me.

Lee: No problem. I was heading this way.

Kara: Oh. Good. I mean, no trouble, then.

Lee: Uh, sure. Well, see you. (Lee exits)

Kara: How about that? "They sent me to tell there's a triad game, but I can't play." Riiiiiiight. I'm onto you, you moron. (She smiles) Lee Adama loves me.

Edited Date: 2010-06-11 07:13 pm (UTC)

From:

coffeesuperhero.livejournal.com

ACT II

Dee: Okay, Felix. When Lee gets here, we have to talk about Starbuck. When I talk about her, make sure that you talk her up and make her sound good. I have to talk about how she's completely in love with Lee.

(Enter Lee, behind a Raptor)

Dee (whispering) There he is! (louder) No, no, Felix, he's so... proud. Didn't you see him with the Old Man? What a jerk!

Felix: But are you sure that Starbuck loves Apollo?

Dee: That's what Boomer and Chief said.

Felix: Did they tell you to tell him about it?

Dee: They asked me to, but I told them that if they cared about Kara at all, they'd tell her to keep it to herself.

Felix: Why? Doesn't someone as amazing as Kara deserve someone like Lee? They're a good match.

Dee: I know that she deserves as much happiness as the gods might want give any of us, but you've just never met anybody who's as much of a stubborn asshole as Apollo. I don't even think he's capable of love. He's so angry all the time.

Felix: Well, maybe. I see your point. It's probably good that Kara doesn't tell him. Lee would just fly off the handle.

Dee: You're not wrong there. He's always overreacting. You could tell him to have a nice day and he'd think you were up to something.

Felix: It's probably not a good idea to talk about the Commander's son like this.

Dee: Well, it's probably not a good idea for the Commander's son to be so hard-hearted, but who can tell him that? If I said anything, he'd probably act like he doesn't know who I am. Poor Kara. No, she definitely has to keep her love a secret. He'd just say he didn't know what she was talking about, or get mad at her for no reason.

Felix: We should tell him and see what he says.

Dee: No, no, we should tell Kara to find someone else. We'll have to lie and say that Lee isn't good for her, maybe she'll believe us.

Felix: Don't do that to Lee! He has to know that they're perfect for each other. He'd be an idiot not to see that.

Dee: She's the center of the universe. She's an amazing pilot. I hear she's the best anyone's ever seen.

Felix: She's earned that reputation. So, do you have a date with that Billy guy later?

Dee: Maaaaybe. Come on, let's go see if there's a triad game.

Felix (whispering): I think he bought it!

(They exit)

Lee: Is it true? Can Kara Thrace actually love me? I can't believe they think I wouldn't love her! I've been in love with her for years and now I don't even care who frakking knows! My name is Lee Adama and I love Kara Thrace!

fin

Edited Date: 2010-06-11 07:15 pm (UTC)