Thoughts on "Water"

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Ok, y'all, I tried really hard to bring the thinky thoughts this week, but sadly, I am coming up short.  The lack of pilots in this ep leaves me a wee bit uninspired.  So in the immortal words of my co-conspirator, Tara, when in doubt, bring the funny.

So first off, we interrupt this broadcast to bring you:

Better Uses for Water (rations):

1. Pilot shower sex.
2. Pilots fighting with the waterhose.
3. Lee giving Kara that bath.
4. Kara returning the favor.
5. Wet t-shirt contest on Galactica!!
6. Filling up Tigh's alcohol bottle so he thinks he has more drinks left.
7. Putting Hot Dog's hand in a pan of water while he's sleeping.
8. Shoving water balloons down your sports bra to distract other players at Triad.
9. Two words:  Mud wrestling.
10. Soaking the CAG's bunk so has has to share yours.
11. Filling the pool so you can go skinny dipping on Cloud Nine.
12. Letting Jake actually have a goddamn drink on New Caprica (instead of just notes in his bowl).
13. Hydrating prior to pilot sexin'.
14. Rehydrating after pilot sexin'.
15. For showers that require teeny tiny post-shower towels.

(PS-- taragel  totally came up with most of these (and definitely the funny ones.))

And now... a very silly picspam (with super silly commentary):

Previously on Battlestar Galactica:

• The Cylons were chasing the Colonials through space, requiring them to jump every 33 minutes for FIVE WHOLE DAYS!
• Everyone got really tired and bitchy.
• Everyone started looking really rough (except for Lee, who, defying space and time and all kinds of logic, looks even better with his SCRUFF OF UNBEARABLE HOTNESS!)
• The CAG and the Hotshot Problem Pilot began a longstanding tradition of fighting and eyefrakking.
• Everybody got on drugs, they escaped from the cylons, and oh yeah, had to shoot down a ship with a bunch of people on it.

And what you didn't see but what happened between this week's episode and last week's episode:

• To make themselves feel better, the kids held a big drunken triad tournament.
• ....things got a bit out of hand.
• AND NOW, we see the fallout from the previous night's entertainment......

This week on Battlestar Galactica:



Boomer can't remember at what point in the evening she thought it would be a good idea to take a shower with her clothes on.



Lee remembers telling the entire squadron that he was the Captain ... of the high school math team.



Someone had a little too much fun with the C-4 last night.



Tigh thinks the best way to beat a hangover it to keep right on drinking.



Kara... is still playing triad.


LATER THAT MORNING...



"Son, that new school-teacher-turned-President is awful cute.  Do you think you might could find out if she's dating anyone?"



"What?"  **is deeply disturbed**


TEN MINUTES LATER...



"Mmmm.  He's so totally checking me out."

THIRTY SECONDS AFTER THAT...



"HA!  She's looking at me!  I knew it!"

THIRTY SECONDS AFTER THAT:



"Ok, now this is just getting downright uncomfortable."


MEANWHILE, BACK ON CRAPRICA....



Helo is sad to be missing all the drunken triad games.



"I know, bb.  But at least we can have radioactive rainy monkey sex until we find a way off the planet!"



Helo is greatly excited by this news.


BACK ON GALACTICA....



"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a serious problem.  There is a liquor shortage in the fleet.  At the rate of Starbuck's ambrosia consumption, coupled with regular drunken triad games and keeping Colonel Tigh's beverage cabinet stocked, we are scheduled to run out of liquor or alcohol of any kind in.... 5 days."



**stunned silence**



"This is serious.  I want the fleet put on emergency rations until we can locate more booze.  All triad tournaments must cease until we find a new supply."



"This is a bunch of CRAAAAAAAP.  I demand a second opinion!"


TEN MINUTES LATER:



"Umm.... yeah guys.  We seriously will run out of liquor if we don't stop drinking so much."



"But---this show is supposed to run for at least four seasons.  How can we possibly maintain the multiplicity of far-fetched and unbelievable storylines without a steady stream of alcohol?"



"We must search within this star system to locate another source of liquor.  Our very survival depends upon it.  It's our only hope."


FIFTEEN  MINUTES AFTER THAT:



"Boomer, I don't have to tell you how important this mission is.  There's a fleet full of raging alcoholics who are counting on you."


TWO HOURS AND 36 MINUTES LATER (which, for Tigh and Starbuck felt much, much longer than that):



"Oh my gods!!  Crashdown, I've got positive readings for ambrosia, bourbon and vodka.  Praise Zeus!  This is enough liquor to sustain the fleet through our contract with Sci FI!!!"


TWENTY-SEVEN MINUTES AFTER THAT:



There was much rejoicing.


SEVERAL DRINKS AFTER THAT...



**hiccups**  "Captain Apollo, while I greatly admire your unbearably hot scruff, I feel like the President should probably date more within her own age range.  Bearing that thought in mind... do you think you could ask your dad if he like-likes me?"




"....Seriously?  You seriously want me to ask him that?  I thought you called me in here to ask me to be your military advisor or, I dunno, something actually important, but instead you want me to see if he... like-likes you?  What are you guys, twelve?  Should I pass him a note with checkboxes?"



"Do you think it would help?"




**sigh**  "You guys are ridiculous."


----THE END----

(Screencaps courtesy of GalacticaBBS.)


Ok, ok, here's what really happened:

• Boomer totally plants explosives to make Galactica's water system go kablooey.  She's also in complete denial about this.
• Lee feels bad about shooting down the Olympic Carrier.  Adama's kind of a jerk about it, but Laura's pretty nice when he talks to her.
• Starbuck, smokes, plays cards and flirts with Baltar (setting the stage for one of the most awkward post-coital scenes in the history of television.)
• The fleet finds more water.
• Lee gets his second in a very long line of jobs-- this time as Captain Apollo Military Advisor Extraordinaire.
• Boomer's still totally a cylon.

Thus endeth the silly rewatch post.
 

Comments

[meiou-set.livejournal.com]

I love the Furrowed Brow of Confusion (tm) ;)

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

HA! Love the title! That's totally one of Lee's favorite looks. ; )