DPP: Confession

[kdbleu.livejournal.com]

Monday of us who confessed to not liking Maelstrom, despite it being a Kara-centric episode. So I was wondering what other deep dark confessions we have.

I’ll go first. I find Scar absolutely painful to watch with exception of the scene where she and Lee drink alone together and when they make out. I cried the first time I watched Kara in the film room and have only made it half way through that scene since.

Now it’s your turn… 

Comments

[cosetteferaud.livejournal.com]

Mmm… Ok, you were right, I actually hate your confession ;) No, seriously, I see your point and agree to some extent, it’s just that the Kara/Sam dynamic (especially in S3) bothers me a lot. As you point out, Sam gave himself completely to Kara, and yes, I agree that’s a beautiful concept when it’s reciprocated. The problem is, of course, that this was never the case as far as Kara and Sam were concerned.

I believe that Kara genuinely cared for Anders (though she was never in love with him IMO, if that makes any sense), and they sure had their moments, but she tended to treat him as her personal sexual toy and punished him over and over --and he was always there to take more. Personally, and I guess that’s where we see the whole thing differently, I don’t find this sort of “unconditional love” and devotion appealing or romantic. The concept irks me, actually. I think there is always a certain degree of unevenness in any relationship, but in this case their dynamic was too uneven. I always perceived an imbalance, a lack of respect from Kara’s part in her relationship with Sam that I found very disturbing.

Kara was my favorite character and I always saw the show from her perspective, and all I wanted for her was to heal and grow up as a person, to learn how to love and be loved in return. And I never saw a healed Kara with Sammy; I don’t see how Sam’s attitude helped Kara or made her mature as a person. I always had the feeling that she was with Sam out of cowardice --or a distorted instinct of self-preservation and duty. I think Anders tried to help her, but he never really understood her true feelings and motivations; he just took what Kara gave him without question. And Kara never couldn't bring herself to leave Sam for good and kept on punishing him (maybe hoping that he'd eventually leave her --and thus freeing her from her obligation towards him? I dunno). It all seemed pretty unhealthy to me.

So when I watch Sam and Kara together, I really like what they can give to one another even though it's completely unequal.

I think it all comes to this. This lack of equality you kinda appreciate made me cringe. I always had the feeling that Kara took Sam’s love for granted and tended to disregard his feelings. And Sam allowed her to behave this way. In my opinion, that’s not what support and unconditional love should be, and it always made me uncomfortable. I always thought that Sam should have stepped aside as soon as he saw the level of (frakked-up) devotion and commitment between Lee and Kara. If he had done that, I think I would have appreciated him much more as a character, quite frankly.

[themonkeytwin.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes. Well, let me clarify: I don't like, or approve, that it was unequal. I like it in spite of the fact that it was unequal, and I am happy to admit it was completely unfair.

It's not that I think it's appealing or romantic (in a coupley way), it's what it shows of their characters. First, with Sam, it showed beyond a doubt that it was unconditional. That's exactly why he never really left her; he knew who she was when he married her, and did so accepting that there were some things she simply couldn't give him. I'm not saying he didn't want more, but he didn't demand more. He let her be who she was, and maybe that wasn't the healthiest thing, but it was something I think he could sense she needed desperately.

Not only was he a clean slate for her, he was safe. Amidst everyone putting pressure on her – Special Destiny, filial devotion, new responsibilities, Leoben head-screws and of course being locked in an eternal push-pull with Lee – Sam could be the one person who simply loved her for who she was, even to the most ugly parts of her. No one starts to heal from a place of insecurity, and he gave her the only haven she had, and he NEVER EVER took it away from her. She wasn't in love with him (maybe in love with the idea of a second chance), but I'm convinced she did love him for that, and I don't think she took it for granted, either. She just didn't show gratitude in any kind of traditional way (ie, fidelity), but when has Kara ever done anything traditionally? Her goodbye said it all.

You might not like this element either, but the way the show has always flirted with the idea of the "gods among us" in terms of the characters also de facto makes some relationships unequal. Adama = Zeus, Lee = Apollo, Kara = Artemis and Aphrodite, Sharon = Athena, and so on. I mean, those are the most explicit parallels, but there are others. Sam was the everyman, albeit an extraordinary one (interesting paradox there), and I think he knew in some intangible way that Kara was deity, and as such would always be partly out of reach. You overreach, and you get burned or killed, and he was canny enough not to. The unequal relationship is the price you pay for being with a god, and all gods have mortal devotees. Again, I'm not saying this is admirable, but the show set up those dynamics and it's the way those dynamics work, and he accepted that price. Compare Dee's trajectory and you see how impressive it was for him to keep up with Kara as much as he did. (Maybe he's Achilles or something. /taking allegory too far)

As for Kara, I don't think she EVER takes him for granted after that first one night stand. It shifts when she's in the hospital/farm and is told that Sam died; the pain of once more being poison to any man she gets close to is devastating, and in that moment she also claims him as her own, because that's the only way that curse works. It's Zak all over again, at least emotionally in that moment for her. So when she sees him alive (and kind of hot and amazing and coming to save her), it's a second chance that means everything to who she is. It's why she's so hell-bent on getting back to Caprica and rescuing him, because she's already claimed him as hers and if she can keep him alive, maybe she's not cursed. (This is how the god-mortal relationship looks from the other side.) It's why she can never let him go, even though she knows she can't give him what she should.

It's probably also why she treats him badly, because if she can push him to where he leaves her then that's painful and she can deal with it, but he's not hers any more, and she can let him go without him dying. But as long as he gives her his devotion, she reciprocates by acknowledging he is her responsibility, and she never ever withdraws that, either. She gives him all the loyalty she is able to.

So ... yeah, don't know if any of that makes sense, but that's how I read it and why I'm okay with it enough to appreciate it and even like it for what it is.