no_takebacks | DPP: In the End

callmeonetrack.livejournal.com posting in

I thought maybe today we could talk about the evolution of things. From start to finish, what do you think of these characters and this relationship now that you've digested the whole show? Have your views of the characters both individually and together changed from when you first started watching/first entered fandom?

A lot of fans from the early days of the show stopped watching because they were let down too many times by the narrative. But those who stuck it out tend to try to define the places where things changed definitively for them. Some people say their personal canon stops after a certain episode (maybe Maelstrom, maybe Unfinished Business, maybe Lay Down Your Burdens, maybe even sooner)? I think, for me, I adored their relationship in S1 and early S2, but I love their journey in Season 4.0/4.5 the best. They didn't have nearly as many moments as they should have, but what they did share was beautiful--every moment was about growing and supporting each other both emotionally and physically. (My one exception is Daybreak Part 2, so I guess my personal canon ends their journey at Islanded... or maybe Daybreak Part 1, since that has the scene where they are revealing the mission to everyone together, finishing each others' sentences.)

The words in the banner above are from the song "All We Are" by Matt Nathanson. The lyrics talk about love wasted, believing that the simple must be hard, and dreams that scatter and fall like (nothing but the) rain in the end. It is my end-of-story song for pilots and was even before I saw the finale. That resolution was not what I wanted for them (I still and will always believe their story required a happy ending to come properly full circle) and I can't fathom fanwanking it or pretending they meant the hollow words they spoke to each other or ignoring the painful expressions on their faces. But I can believe in this song which says in the end, all the mistakes and missteps didn't matter, because from start to finish, the brig to the memory wall, the love was always there.

I think I've strayed from the point in all this, which was to ask how our feelings about this ship changed or didn't with the conclusion of their story. My answer is that I love them possibly more because I will always feel the injustice of that ending. Maybe if I loved the ending I wouldn't be as interested in them still. I don't know. I've always loved Kara and that has never changed. I didn't always love Lee and that has totally changed (s4.0 is my favorite Lee in fact). I love them together more now, as I have this overwhelming protective instinct towards this relationship that makes me want to write fic and natter on and just attempt to fix the ingregious injustice any way I can.

So what's your answers?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

coffeesuperhero.livejournal.com

Daybreak was a bit of game-changer for me. I don't know how well I can explain this, but I'll give it a go.

Part of me accepts the finale, not as what I wanted or even as something that I think would have happened, but as the finale we got from RDM. I know that it happened, I know that I saw it. I don't like it, but part of me knows that at least as far as RDM is concerned, that is the journey that those characters had, and that's how it ended. To get past my grief, I had to accept that Daybreak happened, and I had to do that on my own terms.

rdave1 said above that she believes Kara will be with Lee until his last breath, and to the extent that I know Daybreak happened and tried to come to terms with it on my own, I have to believe that, too. I could not deal with the thought of Lee being alone, or Kara just disappearing. I cried my way through writing this horribly sad post-finale story for Lee, and it was extraordinarily cathartic. I needed to write that so I could get around Daybreak, because I needed to acknowledge what I had seen on my television, but at the same time I needed to try and give Lee and Kara something, some kind of peace, some kind of shared experience, even after the end of the show, but still within the framework that the show had given me. After I wrote that, I felt better about having seen Daybreak. It's not happy, really, and it's not the ending I wanted, but it let me have what I needed: to let Kara be with Lee until his last breath. That was important to me.

All that said, Daybreak changed the way I see everything from Maelstrom onward. I don't like the finale, and if it had been up to little old me, that wouldn't have happened. I love their scene in Islanded, really I do, but I would have given that up in a heartbeat to not have that awful ending for them. The way that Daybreak went down, with the ridiculous vanishing Kara, really made me dislike Maelstrom in a way that I wouldn't have imagined possible before the finale. I had been okay with Maelstrom when I originally viewed it (though I think the only reason I was okay with it in the first place had to do with the fact that I didn't watch it as it aired, but marathoned to catch up in time to watch 4.5 as it aired, and I was spoiled enough going in to know that Kara wasn't gone for good), but after the poof, Maelstrom leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. If Kara's ultimate ending is the poof, I can't have Maelstrom. I can't have Kara just acquiesce to the mystical whims of some capricious third party. Not twice in one show. I just can't. Not okay. Not for Kara, not for Lee, and not for Kara and Lee. After the finale, I can't look at anything after Maelstrom the same way, because Daybreak is hanging over my head like the sword of Damocles. To the extent that I accept Daybreak, I hate Maelstrom; to the extent that I accept Maelstrom, I hate Daybreak. I just can't win.

This leaves me primarily looking to the earlier seasons for my canon K/L fix, these days. Anything before Maelstrom. There are some beautiful moments after Maelstrom, and when I consider them I tend to put my hands over my ears and pretend they happened in a magical timeline where Kara never actually died or subsequently Poofed.

Part of me is able to divorce my feelings for Maelstrom and Daybreak from my feelings for the show and their relationship as a whole, and part of me isn't. It's complicated. It makes me want to do bad Avril Lavigne karaoke while RDM is forced to listen. I don't know.

Bottom line: I still love those two kids, and I love hanging out with other people who love them like I do. Thanks, guys. ♥

Edited Date: 2010-05-19 06:43 pm (UTC)

From:

ninjamonkey73.livejournal.com

THIS! Two things:

This leaves me primarily looking to the earlier seasons for my canon K/L fix, these days. Anything before Maelstrom. There are some beautiful moments after Maelstrom, and when I consider them I tend to put my hands over my ears and pretend they happened in a magical timeline where Kara never actually died or subsequently Poofed.

I am also able to deal with either but not both.

Part of me is able to divorce my feelings for Maelstrom and Daybreak from my feelings for the show and their relationship as a whole, and part of me isn't. It's complicated. It makes me want to do bad Avril Lavigne karaoke while RDM is forced to listen. I don't know.

Why'd he have to go and make things so complicated? 8'D

Edited Date: 2010-05-19 06:45 pm (UTC)

From:

coffeesuperhero.livejournal.com

I'm glad I'm not alone in that! I just can't reconcile them, most of the time. Sigh.

Lol, exactly! Making pilots love somebody else makes me frustrated! ;)

From:

kag523.livejournal.com

This is so funny, and perfect and touching at the same time. I thought your explanation was fantastic.
Send me a link - I must read your "after daybreak" fic.... and I must read it now!

From:

coffeesuperhero.livejournal.com

Thanks, hon. ♥

Let's see. That particular story is here (http://coffeesuperhero.livejournal.com/143936.html). Lords, I cried and cried.

From:

damao2010.livejournal.com

"I can't have Kara just acquiesce to the mystical whims of some capricious third party. Not twice in one show. I just can't. Not okay. Not for Kara, not for Lee, and not for Kara and Lee."

I totally understand. I think BSG became too mystical for my taste after Kara's death and resurrection. But I could go along with it if it had some kind of purpose to it. Something more than "she had to lead them to Earth because that was her destiny all along". You could still get all mystical about it without her having to die or it could have been portraid as "she had a second chance because she had a special destiny". But for her life to be reduced to that without any kind of personal free will or reward or ... I don't know ... something more... I just can't accept it. However, unlike you, I have decided to accept Maeltrom as canon, but in my mind the series ended when Kara and Lee said their goodbyes to Adama and Laura.

From:

coffeesuperhero.livejournal.com

You know, I had really liked the mythology and the mysticism in the other seasons, too, but once the Special Destiny stuff kicked in it started to fall apart for me.

I would have liked that as an ending, I think. Better than what we got, for sure.

From:

kag523.livejournal.com

Agreed. Without the "choice" factor, the entire series loses its abiding principle that everyone is capable of making their life what they want. If Baltar deserved that chance, Kara most certainly did too!

From:

thrace-adama.livejournal.com

So well said, Erin. I relate like whoa to this part especially:

The way that Daybreak went down, with the ridiculous vanishing Kara, really made me dislike Maelstrom in a way that I wouldn't have imagined possible before the finale. I had been okay with Maelstrom when I originally viewed it (though I think the only reason I was okay with it in the first place had to do with the fact that I didn't watch it as it aired, but marathoned to catch up in time to watch 4.5 as it aired, and I was spoiled enough going in to know that Kara wasn't gone for good), but after the poof, Maelstrom leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

WORD. A thousand times word.

Hey, would you mind if I added you to my friends list? I've been meaning to ask for a while, 'cause I LOVE your brain and want to make sure I catch your posts. :)