Best. Ship. Ever. (Essay/Meta)

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

This is based on the very first thing I ever wrote for LJ, for a SASA essay contest last summer to describe why our pilots are the best ship ever.  As we’re counting down the days to the rewatch, it seemed very appropriate, so I dusted it off and added a bit and even threw in some of my patented meta-poetry-fic ™ (had to make sure I still had the chops before the episode reviews begin).

 

So let’s take a moment and remember why we love those kids so darn much. : )

 

"This seems familiar."

I distinctly remember the moment I fell in love with this ship:   That (first) brig scene.  It was December 2006, and I had picked up a copy of the miniseries on a lark after reading (yet another) glowing review of that TV show with the goofy name.  So there I was, watching this new sci-fi show that didn't look much like sci-fi (it felt more like a cross between The Hunt for Red October and The West Wing set in space with robots), and so far it was pretty good.  I liked the set up, I liked the people, and I even liked that cigar-chomping broad who punched the old guy.  It seemed like all the ingredients were there for a good character drama.

Then Lee Adama and Kara Thrace laid eyes on each other in that brig.  The room seemed to shrink and spin, and all I could focus on were these two beautiful, extremely complicated individuals.  Within ten seconds, I could tell that these two had volumes of history between them, and that we were walking right into the middle of their story.  The tension jumped out of the damn TV screen and grabbed me.  I can't ever remember being so riveted just by watching two people trade insults and wisecracks.

And the chemistry.  My gods, the chemistry.  It rolled off both of them in waves.  They could have steamed wallpaper off the walls.  I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until afterwards.  I couldn't figure out if they wanted to hug each other or hit each other or shag like rabbits (probably a combo of all three).  All I can remember thinking was:  Who are these people?  What happened between them?  Why are they not together? And, will they ever please just make out?  (Thank God for Eye of Jupiter.)  Add three parts raw animal tension to one part mysterious and complicated past, dash in a bit of angst, and I was left one thoroughly intrigued customer.

But what makes our lovely pilots the Best Ship Ever?

 

I would argue that what makes this ship so special is precisely what makes it un-familiar.  K/L take traditional romantic conventions and turn them all upside down-- all while striking an emotional chord that deeply resonates with the viewer.  This essay will attempt to explain why our favorite pilots are the Best Ship Ever ("BSE") by focusing on how they consistently defy traditional romantic expectations.  To reverse the quote of a much wiser BSG critic--- It's everything you never thought you wanted in the best possible way.

1.  Everybody's Changing

Gender role reversal probably gets our ship the most critical attention, and rightly so.  Role reversal and confounded expectations have become the calling cards of BSG.  These things defy romantic conventions as well as TV storytelling in general.  It's not only a ballsy way to set up a romantic relationship, it's also very honest.  I mean, who in real life ever completely fits a traditional gender stereotype?

Take our girl Starbuck.  She's a kick-ass combat fighter, she reacts on instinct and usually resorts to force as the first way to solve a problem.  She's a take-charge kind of girl.  (And moreover, 9 times out of 10, she should be in charge.)  All typical "alpha male" traits.  But what I love even more is they way she undermines the classic madonna/whore dichotomy.  She curses and smokes, she makes bad decisions about who she sleeps with, she shuts down emotionally instead of opening up, and oh boy, does she enjoy sex.  And yet, she's our heroine.  These are the traits that make her so identifiable for me.  She is truly and utterly flawed but all the more beautiful for it.

And what about our boy Lee?  He's the reluctant warrior, the cerebral one, the one more given to emotion, and the one who's controlled so deeply by his conscience.  I think the most wonderful thing about Lee's characterization is that he can do all that alpha male stuff if he needs to, but that's not who he is.  That's not his highest and best use.  He can step up and be a kick-ass, ball-busting interim President, but he can also sit back and play Princess Leia to Starbuck's Han Solo (hey, Jamie said it first).  I think my complete and utter devotion for Lee solidified when I read somewhere that RDM said that the character is never so happy as when he's in the kitchen cooking.  I don't know why, but something about that was completely endearing and more than a little bit... hot.

Examples:
 
(1)  Kara saves Lee at the battle at the end of the miniseries. 

“You are beyond insane!!”

 

She is, but it won’t stop her.  She fights, she fraks, she lashes out on instinct, but when it matters—when it matters, she’s right there. No holes barred. Nothing held back. Not until it’s over. Not until he’s safe.

 

 (2)  The infamous punch/punch back.  (Anyone still think we’re playing by the old gender rules?)

 

This fight’s been building since the day they met. Since she promised to marry his brother when she should have been promised only to him. Since he walked into her life with that pretentious-ass smirk and holier-than-thou attitude. Since he took up residence in her thoughts and dreams and never left.

 

So she punches. And he punches back.

2.  We used to be friends.  A long time ago.

We don't know much about their history-- but we know they have it.  In most traditional boy-meets-girl stories, the initial meeting is the beginning of the love story as well.  Fictional couples don't often have history, and if they do, it's never messy.  It might have been that boy and girl knew each other growing up and haven't seen each other in several years.  When they finally meet again, he notices how beautiful she is, she notices how handsome and chivalrous he is, and WHAM!--instant true love.

An what about our pilots?  Oh yeah, they've got some history.  They've got some "you're my brother's fiancée but I've always been inexplicably attracted to you even though and I know it's so wrong and it doesn't help that you made a decision that inadvertently led to my brother's untimely demise and that I compete with you for my father's affections and that the world just ended, but still-- I think I love you" kind of history.  RDM & Co. were downright reckless with this particular romantic faux pas.  Their history is messy and tragic.  And it seems insurmountable.  How do you overcome that?  How can you get past it?

And yet, I really dig the narrative corner K/L have gotten themselves into.  Not only does it add to the delicious angst, it also makes their relationship real in a way few other dramatized relationships ever are.  Fictional couples usually get neat little endings.  They get closure.  They don't circle each other for years, making the same mistakes.  They are smart enough to know that sometimes the best thing to do is just walk away.  But our pilots can't.  They don't want to.  This level of emotional honesty really breaks through to the viewer.  Who hasn't been there before?  Who can't sympathize with them at some point?

Examples:

(a)  The first brig scene. 

 

Gods, she was so beautiful. He couldn't help it. Those were the first thoughts that entered his mind. Beautiful and fierce and predatory. Sheathed claws, but no less dangerous. For him, at least.
 

Then the words began to pour out. The opening line. The witty banter. Circling, watching, testing for weaknesses.  It had always been their way.

"So how long's it been?"

"Two years."

Two years, three months, eighteen hours, thirty-six minutes. Not that he'd been counting.

(b)  Unfinished Business. 

 

"So it was your idea?" 

It was. The only idea that ever made sense. When everything you love breaks or dies or becomes cursed by the gods—you can’t risk spreading that kind of cancer, not when it really counts. He’s crushed, destroyed. Exteriors melted and souls were bared only to be slaughtered in the bright light of day.  One more desertion. Add it to the list.

 

How much bad history can you take before it breaks you? How many mistakes before you run out of second chances?

 

 

3.  All the wrong reasons.

Oh, the angst.  Love it.  LOVE IT.   Forbidden love. Falling for the wrong person.  The one person on earth you shouldn't want but secretly crave.  The relationship that absolutely guarantees to frak up your life and make all your friends hate you for a while.  This is the whirlwind that is Lee and Kara.

Although the "wrong person" syndrome is not new in romantic stories, K/L puts a different spin on things.  Instead of a detour on the path to true love, the "wrong person" syndrome is actually the relationship you should be rooting for.  ("If you're not shipping Lee and Kara, you haven't been paying attention.")  On paper, these two seem so wrong for each other.  But then you put them together—whether as buddycops or sparring partners or defenders of the fleet or best friends—and you wonder why you ever thought that in first place...

Examples:
 
(a)  Makeout scene in EOJ. 

 

Lust, want, need, desire, guilt—the emotions weave together as beautifully as arms and lips and shared breath. But reality isn’t perfect, and futures aren’t always bright and shiny. And sometimes the timing really and truly does suck. They know the way forward, but it feels too difficult to act. Conscience meets conviction and where does that leave us? Trapped.

 

(But oh gods it’s seductive to watch. They dance so well together.)

 

(b)  Under the wing in Maelstrom. 

 

He’s happy, and she’s happy for him. Truly, she is. If only she weren’t breaking so much inside. Her smile is beautiful precisely because of the extra effort it requires. This is moving on, this is letting go. This is growing up. And yet for all that maturity, for all that support and strength and stiff upper lip, there’s a moment—just the tinest moment—where her faces breaks. And so does his. Shatters into a thousand pieces as they remember that the script they’re reading is not the one they meant to choose. But time's running out. So actions have to speak where the words can’t. Whatever it takes. 

 

 

4.  The best of you.

Even with all the angst, the bad history, and the gender role murkiness, these two still complete each other.  Yes, they can be completely destructive forces, but they also bring out the best of each other.  They push each other like no one else can.  Since the end of the worlds, their relationship has come the closest to breaking down their emotional barriers and making them open up (albeit sometimes with disastrous results).  Yet somehow, when they're together, they seem invincible.  It's only when they're apart that you remember they're mortals.  Together, they become something greater than themselves, something mythical:  Starbuck and Apollo.

Examples:

(a)  The second brig scene. 

 

He makes a choice no one understands.  She comes back with a story no one believes.  Only they can give each other the strength to get through what's to come.  A beautiful moment, a beautiful kiss, and a whispered "I believe you."  It's the first time they both tap into the power of their connection in such a mature, unconditional way.

 

(b) The memorial hall scene in Islanded. 

 

“I don’t care.”

 

It doesn't matter. None of it. The implosion of logic and emotion, the conflagration of their passion and despair. The hurt, the pain. The other spouses, the false starts. None of that matters anymore. All that matters is this: His fingertips on her skin. Both of them still being here, alive, together—surmounting impossible odds and mathematical impossibilities. Their eyes meeting and holding. Giving love and receiving it. There is no Apollo, there is no Starbuck. Those masks are gone; the characters they represent are dead. It's just them, again. As it was always meant to be. 

5.  You can't always get what you want.

Sometimes unrequited (or unfulfilled) love is the best kind.  It perfect in a way because it's filled with the promise of what could be.  If only.  What might have been.  
 
The ending was a bitter and disappointing moment for our pilots (and their fans). I don’t need to recount the wounds here. But suffice it to say that I refuse to believe that 2-hour detour that disregarded plot threads, character growth, and the show’s mythology and conscience is the final word where our kids are concerned. The sum of the parts is greater than the hastily constructed coda tagged on at the very end.  This relationship is epic, it is remarkable, and it is something we are unlikely to ever see again. And for that reason, it is worth watching (and re-watching) this story.

****************************** 

So there it is.  Star-crossed love dressed in the trappings of a sparse, naturalistic sci-fi drama.  A complex web of love, passion, friendship, pain, desire and heartache.  Emotional honesty on a level we've rarely (if ever) seen before on TV.  That's why we're here. 

Yin and Yang. 
Oreos and milk. 
Sex and cigarettes. 
Starbuck and Apollo.

Some things just go together, you know.

Comments

[daybreak777.livejournal.com]

Aww!!! The brig scene! EoJ outmaking (which was like the best thing ever).

But then there was the other brig scene. (Maybe that was the answer just keep these two in brigs.) Oh, pilots. :-)

And you're right. That's what brought me here. These two. I wouldn't know anyone on LJ without them.

Now I want some Oreos and milk. :-)

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

The brig scenes do make nice bookends, don't they? : )

Me too! My ridiculous love for this fictional couple made me get on the internets to find like-mided shippy people. First lurking, then chatting, then posting, then writing... and all because of our kids.

Go get you some, girl!

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Aw see, now I said I wasn't going to comment but I had to. Your fic snippets were all just lovely, beautiful and true. But this one? This is the one that made me cry:

He’s happy, and she’s happy for him. Truly, she is. If only she weren’t breaking so much inside. Her smile is beautiful precisely because of the extra effort it requires. This is moving on, this is letting go. This is growing up. And yet for all that maturity, for all that support and strength and stiff upper lip, there’s a moment—just the tinest moment—where her faces breaks. And so does his. Shatters into a thousand pieces as they remember that the script they’re reading is not the one they meant to choose. But time's running out. So actions have to speak where the words can’t. Whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes. WAH. :(

And it still breaks my heart that the answer to this:

RDM & Co. were downright reckless with this particular romantic faux pas. Their history is messy and tragic. And it seems insurmountable. How do you overcome that? How can you get past it?

Was that you don't. :(

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Aww hon, I made you cry? Wow. I am humbled that my wee little ramblings could do that. Pilots = poetry. Simple as that. : )

But just remember-- for purposes of the finale, RDM & Co. ARE IDIOTS. In my mind, the canon relationship of Lee and Kara ended in the memorial hall scene. THAT was the culmination of their journey, everything that they'd been working towards.

"See you around, Kara thrace."

And he will. Because she'll be right there waiting for him. (in the same plane of existence, happy and healthy and whole.) Just disregard the last two hours. Episode Divorce.

[rayruz.livejournal.com]

(2) The infamous punch/punch back. (Anyone still think we’re playing by the old gender rules?)

THIS.

Um... I had a moment of clarity reading this.

I have little desire to slash BSG (still some, not much), and I generally have the slash goggles set to the highest level.

(And I totally believe it's not because there are sexuality issues in BSG; quite frankly I think with the gender norms as they are in BSG wherein men and women are genuinely equal, there wouldn't be any kind of stigma to homosexuality (i.e. in our world being with someone of the same sex is weird because a woman isn't a man or a man isn't a woman. But a relationship with a man would be equal to a relationship with a woman because of the gender equality in BSG.))

And I think you just nailed exactly why with that statement. Without the gender rules of our world, slash versus het becomes a very different thing. (This may sound strange but) Kara and Lee have the dynamic of many typical slash pairings from other fandoms. Only, you know, Kara's got two X chromosomes... so it's not slash.



*Sigh* Sorry this detracted from pilots and was more about my adoration of gender in BSG.

But yes. To everything you said Bee! *sigh* Thank you for putting into words exactly what I love about them.

ETA: Due to commitment issues, the brig scene wasn't something I saw until late in the game. I didn't see the mini until... yikes... after The Mutiny. I rushed through the series and was in withdrawl waiting from Tuesday until the next episode on a friday. So the first scene I saw with them was the stims scene. Instant love.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Oh baka, this is so interesting. I've never really gotten into slash fic (just couldn't find a compelling enough couple, I guess), but it's fascinating to hear you explain slash as a gender-less relationship. Kind of like two negatives in a sentence canceling each other out, maybe?

(I never really watched the old show, but I could see that. ; )

Aww, you're welcome sweetie!

So you saw season 4.5 first and then caught up midstream?

[innibis.livejournal.com]

That's a great point and I'm totally with you on this - I'm usually a slasher.

[bonita-chica71.livejournal.com]

*wipes away tear* A big fat YES! to all that you have said! :) Especially this;

"Yin and Yang.
Oreos and milk.
Sex and cigarettes.
Starbuck and Apollo.

Some things just go together, you know."

On a side note- "I think my complete and utter devotion for Lee solidified when I read somewhere that RDM said that the character is never so happy as when he's in the kitchen cooking. I don't know why, but something about that was completely endearing and more than a little bit... hot."- Me too, I seriously thought I was the only one who that.*hugs you*

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Awwww--- yay! You can't separate pilots; they're simply a force of nature. : )

**hugs back**

I have quite a soft spot for men who are good in the kitchen, and I love that our boy has culinary talent. *g*

[innibis.livejournal.com]

Love your poetry, Bee.:)

I'm trying to think of something eloquent to say, but I'm lacking. They are simply Pilots, and they glow when they are around each other, in rage as well as joy, something shining and private and real in an otherwise grey dreamscape. I guess that's what it is for me - that they only seem fully alive when they're together. There is nothing muted about them. All intensity and fight guilt and love and so much respect and all that faith. They are beuatiful to watch, even when they're ripping each other's hearts out, because in those moments when it is only the two of them, they blaze in a dying world.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Thank you, my darling. I do love to write it. ; )

Searching for eloquence? Please. You've got eloquence just oozing out of your little fingertips. This is lovely and so true. They do bring each other to life in every way.

they blaze in a dying world

They do indeed.

[eugis.livejournal.com]

Aw, Pilots!

YES to all of this. I agree with everything you've said here. Bee, this is a wonderful essay, I love the poetic tone of it. You've encapsulated in such an insightful and thoughtful way why we love K/L so much and why they are the best ship ever. :D Those little fic bits are beautiful. ♥

The last bit summed it up perfectly.

I loved it. And I also loved the fact that you used song titles as subject lines for each part. :)

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

*g*

You know me and my poetry.

Our kids are just the best, aren't they? Can't be separated or divided in their epicness (no, not even RDM can defeat the power of pilots!)

I thought you might enjoy that. : )

Thank you, my darling. I just wanted to help remember why we love these kids so much and know that we CAN get our squee back!

[ds888.livejournal.com]

Can I use your essays to wallpaper my bedroom walls with :)

All kidding aside, this is a great essay. I love how it re-confirms my own beliefs and gives credence to my own persistent feelings for pilots.

If not for these two, I would not even be here on LJ trying to find other souls to connect with. If not for these two, I probably would have gone my entire life without reading a single piece of fanfic. I am glad to have found a small haven on the internet to help heal my shippy heart. Thanks for sharing.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Well, we might need to throw in a floral pattern or a stripe, but it would probably work. ; P

Thank you. : ) There is so much to love about our kids. I'm excited that this rewatch is going to help us celebrate that.

Me too! Isn't it amazing how a fictional couple can open up a whole new world? Pretty cool, that is.

[kategirasole.livejournal.com]

Even with all the angst, the bad history, and the gender role murkiness, these two still complete each other.

YES. THIS. This is the lens through which I watched (and will re-watch) the whole series...that no matter what happens, they complete one another. I also love one of the examples you have for #4 there: the hallway scene in Islanded. I think that I will keep that scene in my head as how K/L ended. They have each other, and that's all that matters. To me, that is so true to the story that the writers had been telling for four years about these two. Honestly, someone should've sat RDM down and had him re-watch the mini and some of the early seasons before he wrote the finale. Sigh.

Okay...this isn't supposed to be about me venting my rage slight frustration with the finale. The point of this post is why our ship is the best ship ever. And you've done that extremely well, and far more eloquently than I am (obviously!) able to. So I'll just say thank you for putting it into words in such a lovely way. :)

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

I think that I will keep that scene in my head as how K/L ended.

Me too. That's exactly where my canon ends and where the ship needed to be. I have no problem at all disregarding those last two hours like a bad artistic experiement (similar to the Star Wars Christmas special-- it was an idea that never should have been attempted. : D)

Just remember, they got it right up to this point. The sum of the whole outweighs the hard left turn that was the finale. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. : )

[somewhereapart.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Okay, I think that made me a little misty.

Oh, pilots. Your love is so epic.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Aww, truly? I'm touched my dear.

Indeed. : )

[setivalen.livejournal.com]

Hi! Okay, first, this was beautiful, and great comments by all.

*deep breath* If I can be so bold to bring up something I read about from my course work...

I read this fascinating article about how the "scientists" of the late 19th century (Herbert Spencer in particular--he did a great deal to hold women and minorities back for the next 150 years with his "social Darwinism" clap-trap--he invented the "survival of the fittest" term) put forth the notion that men and women must have "complimentary" emotions. One balances out the other. In fact, there was no scientific proof of this (and there still isn't), but it worked out well, this research author argues, because it justified the status quo power dynamic. Think "separate but equal." Men had strong emotions that they could bend to their will; women were just emotional. However, when men had "bad moods" women could sense that and adjust accordingly (the balance part)--but this was only powerful in the domestic environment. Women couldn't bend emotion to their will.

I bring that up because we see this played out over and over in normal love stories. Jane Eyre is a perfect example (not that the guy controls his emotions, but he's allowed to show them in a way Jane is not). And then there's Kathy and Heathcliff and Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam (Pride and Prejudice). Heathcliff's doomed because Kathy isn't fitting the mold (though she tries)--and that's not allowed. Elizabeth almost doesn't get the guy because she won't fit the mold either (and that was sort of Jane Austen's point--the narrow role women were supposed to play).

This complimentarity also explains the "for the love of a good woman thing" (Kathy doesn't fit this, but that's why the two die--she' isn't a good woman). Think of all the stories of the man saved by the love of a good woman--Rochester (Jane Eyre), Jerry McGuire--geez, Tom actually says to Renee, you complete me, John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara in The Quiet Man, Pretty Woman...I could go on and on.

I bring all of this up because I was trying to decide, in the discussion above about "completing each other" if it was really the same thing. Because (and I realize this is sacreligious, perhaps, but I'm going to put it out there)--I don't believe in that complimentarity thing. I don't mean I don't believe in balance--but it takes people who understand each other to balance, not people who are complete opposites and therefore won't be able to figure out the other person. I've dated enough opposites, and I swear, my husband and I work more for what we're the same on. We definitely balance each other, but only because we've both made the same mistakes and can help be the calmer voice at the right moment. I'm a talker and I married a talker (gods help me if I'd married a listener--I want responses, man!!); I'm extroverted and I married an extrovert (though he's more so than I am)--so yeah, we spar for attention at a party, but as equals. And to me, that's why it works--because we're equals. We don't complete each other, we support each other--I think there's a difference.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Oh girl, this is great stuff! I really need to go to bed, but a couple of quick thoughts--

I do agree on the commonality aspect you bring up. Kara and Lee are simialr in many, many ways, as you point out, although they often manifest themselves differently (i.e., Kara's quick temper v. Lee's cool reserve-- both come from a place of self-isolation and anger at the world).

I don't think completing is necessarily the same thing as complimenting. I see them relating on two levels: those 'surfacey' qualities that are so easy to identify (hot/cold, light/dark, intinctual/cerecral), as well as the "deep down" stuff. They are complete kindred spirits and have so much in common-- especially their childhood issues (which gwasshoppa so marvelously wrote about). They've both got abandonment issues, abuse issues, neglect issues, fear of failure issues, and both were burdened with having to grow up way too fast. In this way, I see them as EXACTLY the same. it also keeps them from making friends easily and prevents them from trusting others to a large extent. Again, the outward manifestations are oppositely reflected, but the bone-deep similarity is always there. At least, that's how I see it. : )

I hope that helps clarify. My essay really didn't delve into my theory on how they relate to each other, but that's pretty much it.

Uh oh, and I need to get on a Jane Eyre tangent for a second (b/c I love that book so frakking much)-- while it's true that Jane exhibits the more "feminine" qualities of self-control and submissiveness and quietness, I would argue that this reserved exterior is really the outward manifestation of the tremendous psychological damage inflicted upon her as a child. Rochester also experienced significant emotional trauma, which manifested itself in a more external way. Also, you could argue that economics had a great deal to do with that-- as Jane had to carefully control her emotions in order to be employable and make a living for herself, whereas Rochester already had means which allowed him to be a boorish as he pleased. I'm not sure in their case it was bending/adapting so much as damaged kindred spirits finding each other. Not that different, in its essence, from our beloved pilots.

Ok, I've seriously got to go to sleep now, but thanks for the awesome late night discussion! : )

[setivalen.livejournal.com]

Part Two (apparently I wrote too much--LOL)

So what does this have to do with our pilots? I think, actually, they support each other too. The gender reversal/role bending is a big part of it (and the discussion here about how slash takes the gender male/female stuff out--I completely agree! I never thought of that, and I'm definitely going to keep that in mind in a lot of ways in the future). I'm not convinced they're opposites (though I've read brilliant fic based on the opposites/complimentarity idea and enjoy it just as well). They're both strong, both driven by their ethics (Starbuck DEFINITELY has an ethical code, and she follows it with as much obsession as Lee does--hers is just grounded in a different set of topics), and both struggle to be able to articulate anything emotional and powerful and too true to take back. They're both athletic and a mix of thinking and instinct (Starbuck has wicked instincts, but only because she has thought through all the ways something could go before hand--she's a rehearser, so when it comes to reflexes, she's prepared with a bag of tricks honed through mental rehearsal). They do differ in that Lee let's the emotions simmer longer than she does (because in that sense, he's better at repressing--he doesn't realize he's got the emotions until some time afterward, which would be typical of the adult child of an alcoholic). Starbuck may not be able to articulate the emotion, but she feels the tensions building, and she'd be better off if she let them simmer a bit to sort first, instead of acting, but she just acts. As a friend of mine says, you don't made good decisions when you make them out of fear, and our girl--fearless though she is in the viper--has fears when it comes to emotional intimacy, so that's when her thinking and instincts tend to fail her. That's when she doesn't rehearse mentally, and we see the fallout from that.

I realize Papadama said Lee overthinks things, but Lee was never Bill, and frankly, the man never understood his son very well. Lee did have to learn to trust his instincts more, but they were always there--and that's where Kara understood (she had the same dynamic--gotta choose, gotta decide, so I can act)--so she pushes him to follow instinct, and he pushes her to follow thought--because they BOTH understand the tension in sliding between the two (as pilots and military strategists). I don't think one compliments the other--I think they know when the balance is shifting and support the shift to put the see-saw back into alignment.

I would also bring up (as grasshoppa just wrote about eloquently in a short story fic) that Lee and Kara actually had some similar childhood issues. They may have come to express themselves differently, but the internal dynamics, I would argue, were quite similar (having to act like the adult with the parent; getting mixed messages regarding boundaries and lack of consistency; not wanting to be like their parents in terms of the military, but being drawn to it all the same to try to understand the parent; feeling unwanted and emotionally abandoned).

That's why they could connect so directly--they understood each other on a subconscious level for what they shared (not necessarily what they were opposites of). Zak was protected by Lee (I believe)--so in that way, Zak may have been more of an opposite than Lee.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Excellent observation, my dear. And ITA about Zak being Lee (and Kara's) "truer" opposite precisely b/c he was sheltered from all the crap. Of course, that also meant he lacked the deeper connection with them of having to go through what they went through, which is why I think K/L instantly connected on a deeper level even though she was dating/engaged to his brother.

[setivalen.livejournal.com]

Part Three (I really wrote too much!)

One more point--in psychology, we talk about projection--when you really dislike something about a person, it is often because it reminds you of something within yourself that you cannot accept/dislike/maybe even despise. That, to me, explains why Lee and Kara hit each other/hurt each other sometimes (though that sexual tension thing is also part of it)--they see what's mirrored, not what's alien, what's common but not considered acceptable.

Anyway, that's my theory. When the two of them understood they were equals (which, I argue, happens exactly in the second brig scene and again in the Memorial Hallway at the end), then they were in sync. The rest of the time, they imagine one has strengths over the other, back and forth, and they can't settle into a rhythm because they haven't accepted themselves (not each other, but who each person is internally regardless). When they accept themselves, they realize their equalness (and have those awesome duo fighting scenes during the mutiny near the end, as an example).

Okay, I'll stop there. Not sure if I make any sense, but just another "devil's advocate" viewpoint to consider!

Nicole

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's a great point about projection (the non cylon kind), that I'd never considered. It brings to mind the scene in The Captain's Hand where Lee tells Kara that it was pissing him off b/c she was doing her acting out thing and getting away with it, while the one time Lee acted out (e.g., the mutiny), he nearly lost everything, etc.

Interesting you equate their happiness with a shared sense of equality. I like that, and I also think that when they felt most at peace whas when they completely and unconditionally accepted each other-- no demands, no requirements, just love. And that's also why, for all the pain of 4 and 4.5, it did give us two fantastic moments in the brig scene and the memorial scene.

[cosetteferaud.livejournal.com]

What a lovely encapsulation of Kara and Lee’s relationship, hon. It’s been a joy to read (or re-read). You have captured everything I love about pilots, why they are –and most probably will always be-- my favorite fictional couple ever. Love your poetry, Bee (and yeah, pilots ARE poetry!!!) Your little snippets are so gorgeous and honest and… gah.

Frankly, I don’t exactly know why pilots are so special to me, why I fell so hard for them and their story… They are just them… pilots; beautiful and damaged and dazzling and messy and *SO* perfect in all their glory and tragedy.
They are flawed, they are complicated; they made me sad, upset me, frustrated me… But they also brought me joy, hope, delight. They might represent the archetypical star-crossed lovers –-meant to be but never meant to be--- but their story was much more than a “true love” tale; it was a story of friendship, trust, hope, family, loss, faith and respect…

Yeah, in spite all their wrongness and the obstacles and the hurt, to me Kara and Lee belonged to each other and always will. And maybe that was not their time (thanks, RDM!). Maybe their time will never come, but I know their love was something undeniable and true. As you said, their relationship was epic and meaningful and incredibly touching. And just because of that it is worth rewatching.

Btw, this was SO **gorgeouss**.

“I don’t care.”

It doesn't matter. None of it. The implosion of logic and emotion, the conflagration of their passion and despair. The hurt, the pain. The other spouses, the false starts. None of that matters anymore. All that matters is this: His fingertips on her skin. Both of them still being here, alive, together—surmounting impossible odds and mathematical impossibilities. Their eyes meeting and holding. Giving love and receiving it. There is no Apollo, there is no Starbuck. Those masks are gone; the characters they represent are dead. It's just them, again. As it was always meant to be.

Just them. As they always will be <3

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

PILOTS ARE POETRY!!!

We need that on a t-shirt. : )

What you said, the way you described them-- that's exactly why I'm so excited to do this rewatch. I want to be reminded of all that is great about this ship and this show.

*g*

I stole that from my review of Islanded. I'm glad you like. : )

[kellychameleon3.livejournal.com]

*slow clap* This is really nice, Bee. Love your meta-poetry-fic. Lovely. Unfortunately I'm feeling quite stabby today and when I think about the way TPTB put so many unnecessary opsticals in K/L's way and the way they yanked the audience around.....all for nothing? Seriously? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Thanks hon. I'm sorry it stirred up the anger. I completely understand--although my outbursts are less frequent no (thank gods). I'm really hoping the rewatch will actually be the next step in recovery (one can only hope...)

[latteaddict.livejournal.com]

I definitely remember your fabulous essay, especially with the Oreos and milk ending :)

The added poetry to expand on the main points is just lovely and squishy and lyrical.

Like a lot of others, I really loved the under the wing description. It makes me think of how often Lee wished for Kara to be emotionally vulnerable towards him, and finally in that scene she was. She needed him so badly. And while Lee was being a perfect best friend to her he totally missed how in love with him she was. It was a subtle difference but such an important one. Their tragic and mistimed angst never fails to rip your heart out.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks hon! **blushes**

Oreoes and milk make everything better. As does poetry. : )

That scene just breaks my heart, but in such a good way. So beautiful and tragic-- you're absolutely right.

[rdave1.livejournal.com]

*sobbing*

A HELLS YA!

Reading this really reminded me of why I love those two and why I hated that 2 hour nonsense. Everytime I think of something good about the pilots and the hope that was there at the time, it reminds of the crap we got at the end. It makes that moment seem cheap somehow in my mind.

You really bought up some great moments in the lives our pilots. I remember when I first saw those two. I had ordered Stargate Atlantis calendar for a friend, she loves John Sheppard. Anyway, I got a free DVD with the package and I put it aside since I hadn't seen or heard of the show. I didn't have cable. The simple DVD set with my other programs for a good year and then I bought it down stairs to throw it away. Again it set there for a few weeks. One lonely Saturday I was bored out of my mind and decided to pop the DVD in to check it out. It was a recap of the first two seasons.

I put it in and first thing I see is things blowing up, then a chick hitting an old guy and then my life changed. He walked into the brig and she got up and their eyes locked and so did my heart. That one minutes scene made me wonder what their story was, what brother, were they married, what happened with his brother. I had to know. So I ran to the video store and rented season 1. I watched season 1 and 2 in a weeks time. Then waited patiently for season 3 to come out because season 4 was about to start and I got cable.

There is just so much about those two, that sometimes I don't have words to describe how I feel. Luckily there are people like you who can put my feelings into words. You describe them just as I see them, just as everyone sees them well except you know who.

I will never ship again like I did Lee and Kara. You are right there are just something that go together, too bad happiness and Lee/Kara wasn't one of them.

Some of those scene you described are my favorites. The under the wing scene breaks my heart everytime I watch it. May be she knew something was going to happen and she wanted to make sure he would be okay. They always were thinking of the other's happiness rather then their own. But their true happiness laid with each other.

I feel I'm rambling but I tend to do that when it comes to our pilots.

WHATEVER IT TAKES! We will remember Lee and Kara for what they truely were to each other.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

Two hour nonsense indeed. That's what I'm saying.

He walked into the brig and she got up and their eyes locked and so did my heart.

Amen sister. For me too. And I'm more than happy to encapsulate what I love about pilots-- and I'm so glad it's many of the same things you love too!

[rdave1.livejournal.com]

OK with all my ramblings I forgot to mention some of the other things I wanted to say.

The role reversal was very much there in the show. Not just with L/K but other characters too. This is probably one of the only shows that has given women more power then men, their decisions were what counted. Lee and Kara role reversals were unique. He was her CAG but she was more ballsy. She did all the stuff that you would expect him to do for showing off reasons. Even their emotional roles were reversed. Kara closed off her emotions and Lee wore his on his sleeve. But the one thing I liked about their emotional role reversals is that they were ever changing. If Kara was closed off, Lee showed emotion and if he was being cold she was showing emotion. They balanced each other out in every way.

They used to be friends and part of that will always remain. No matter what happened, they knew the other would be there watching their back. Even after the revelation about Zak, Lee couldn't turn away from her. Our pilots did get past all the history, hurt and ghosts right before the end but...

To each other they were the forbidden fruit. Something that they were never supposed to have but how can you get rid of something that is part of your soul, how can you take a piece of you out that you didn't know existed until they were standing right in front of you. (That almost sounded as poetic, not good as your though. They bought out the best and worst in each other sometimes. But isn't that what a real relationship is, you fight but you always come back. Your other half brings out your best and worst but by bringing your worst they are trying to fix it or make it better. How does this person love is measured by how they stick by you when your worst is at its best, when they don't care even if they don't have all the answers. They take you for who you are no matter what it takes.

Sometimes we don't get closure but people decide to be stupid but that's why we have rewatch and happy pilot moments to remember.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

That's such a great point about them balancing each other. And daybreak and setivalen put it beautifully upstream when they talk about how similar Lee and Kara are, for all their differences.

Yes. The best and the worst indeed. They make each other live lives in full blown technicolor-- bringing out all the memotions they normally shove aside. And bringing out the best so much more often.

Vive la rewatch!!

[thrace-adama.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was so beautiful, Bee. I got a little teary-eyed when you described the Under the Wing scene, and then I sniffled through the second brig and Islanded scenes. You really brought the intense emotions in those moments to life, and I remain in awe of your ability to put them into words.

I love this essay too because I feel it encapsulates so very well exactly why Kara and Lee grabbed me in the mini and never let go, and why no other fictional couple has had quite the same effect on me.

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

**blushes madly**

Aww, hon, you're going to make me tacklglomp you for all your sweetness! Pilots just bring out the poetry, I guess. : )

Amen to that. They are truly something special.

[elzed.livejournal.com]

Admirably put, Bee! And I particularly love the way you described what makes Kara such an irresistible character (ITA on all fronts, not least the breaking of the Madonna/whore stereotype); why Lee can be alpha male, can do all the shit (and boy is he hot when he does) but doesn't define himself by it; and of course the immediate and irresistible nature of their attraction....

Sigh. I may have to joint he rewacth (and fast forward a few of the non-K/L scenes....)

PS: Coffee and cigarettes, babe!

*downs dregs of coffee; lights fag*

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

YAY!! Huzzah for breaking down madonna/whore dichotomies-- our girl does that so well. And yeah, our boy is definitely hot in alpha male mode, but I also love it when he just kicks back and says-- "the lady's in charge." GAH-- kills me every time.

You definitely need to show up for the discussion. Fast forward all you want-- this will be a VERY pilots centric discussion.

**smacks forehead**

Of course! Now you're making me long for that lovely combo. Takes me back to college days...

[thegreenkitty.livejournal.com]

Bee, thanks for the essay. You do a great job of summing up our pilots, in prose that reads like poetry.

Agreed, k/l is the BEST ship ever...in fact i didn't really know what a "ship" was until kara/lee. Honestly, prior to bsg, it had been a long time since i had even watched television. i got my news from npr and the bbc, read classic lit, and loved theater. i didn't even own a television b/c it all seemed so mind-numbingly inane.

i fell in love with bsg while staying with friends (during fall 2008 i had a bad episode of depression and so was often at their place rather than my own in order to stay "safe"). i saw some of the kara-centric season 3 epis (on the demetrius, etc)...so i don't mind season 3 (or even season 4 other than the last 30 minutes of the finale) all that much. i remember identifying with this brilliant but crazy chick with these dysfunctional relationships and difficulty with commitment/trust. Kara will always hold a special place in my heart...her strengths and weaknesses are much like my own...and her growth has been food for thought. Lee, too, has my absolute affection, as he was always *the only* match for Kara. Leoben was useful as a guide...um, Sam should've gone off with Dee and left us all alone...but it was always Lee and Kara that mattered.

i absolutely love that you mention the male/female dichotomy of kara/lee. The flip-flop of "who's in control" between kara's assertive, perfectionistic goals as a pilot and a member of the fleet and of humanity...and Lee's incredibly high standards for himself as a pilot and a leader, causing the eventual need for the "i will try to be smarter and wronger" conversation with Laura, and demonstrated in so many ways...including the ease with which he takes over as CAG, and his natural ability to excel in both the political and the military world.

It's nice to see our pilots together during their "off" time (and also their work time when working together) b/c they give each other a bit of a chance to let down their guards, laugh, and allow each other breaks from having to be in control. My instinct is that Lee is the top, but it's not like Kara can't give him a run for his money (smart assed bottom that she is) or flip positions so he too gets a breather from being in charge. They are infuriatingly similar and infuriatingly different, which seems to be what most draws them to one another.