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no_takebacksHey there, kids! My name is Heather, and I'll be your DPP host for this week. :D
I was musing the other day about how hard it is for me to put the whole of my love of pilots into words. I mean, I could go on for hours about the individual reasons I adore them, I'm sure, but no one thing seems to encompass all that I feel when I think about how beautiful their relationship is. But sometimes I find in the words of others bits and pieces of the whole of how I, personally, feel, if that makes any sense. In a line of dialogue or the description of a handshake and hug in a fic, in some new insight to an oft-discussed topic in a piece of meta, in the editing of a brilliant vid... In considering all of this, I have come to realize that I can't put my love of Kara/Lee into words because it's always changing, always expanding, and that this will always be true as long as I continue to think about them and to absorb others' thoughts on them.
With that in mind, today I propose that we share with each other some of the fic, music, poems, vids, art, etc. that has for some reason or another greatly touched on our love for Kara/Lee. You can elaborate on why you've chosen to share it, or not. You can quote a whole song, or just a few lines. Anything goes!
To start us off, I thought I'd post a poem by Pablo Neruda that some thoughtful shipper first introduced me to in a post on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
beyond_insane sometime around the finale. It's the second "Morning" sonnet (translated into English) in Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets. Though I'm not usually a big fan of poetry, this poem is definitely one of those works that touches on some aspect of my pilots love.
Love, what a long way, to arrive at a kiss,
what loneliness-in-motion, toward your company!
Rolling with the rain we follow the tracks alone
In Taltal there is neither daybreak nor spring.
But you and I, love, we are together
from our clothes down to our roots:
together in the autumn, in water, in hips, until
we can be alone together--only you, only me.
To think of the effort, that the current carried
so many stones, the delta of Boroa water;
to think that you and I, divided by trains and nations,
we had only to love one another:
with all the confusions, the men and the women,
the earth that makes carnations rise, and makes them bloom!
Wow, sorry that got so wordy! I promise to keep things short for the rest of the week. All right, y'all, now hit me up with your recs!
P.S.--Don't forget that there are still lots of open weeks for anyone interested in hosting the Daily Pilots Posts. We want YOU.
Also, have we decided when the next rewatch is going to take place yet? What say you, Bee?
I was musing the other day about how hard it is for me to put the whole of my love of pilots into words. I mean, I could go on for hours about the individual reasons I adore them, I'm sure, but no one thing seems to encompass all that I feel when I think about how beautiful their relationship is. But sometimes I find in the words of others bits and pieces of the whole of how I, personally, feel, if that makes any sense. In a line of dialogue or the description of a handshake and hug in a fic, in some new insight to an oft-discussed topic in a piece of meta, in the editing of a brilliant vid... In considering all of this, I have come to realize that I can't put my love of Kara/Lee into words because it's always changing, always expanding, and that this will always be true as long as I continue to think about them and to absorb others' thoughts on them.
With that in mind, today I propose that we share with each other some of the fic, music, poems, vids, art, etc. that has for some reason or another greatly touched on our love for Kara/Lee. You can elaborate on why you've chosen to share it, or not. You can quote a whole song, or just a few lines. Anything goes!
To start us off, I thought I'd post a poem by Pablo Neruda that some thoughtful shipper first introduced me to in a post on
beyond_insane sometime around the finale. It's the second "Morning" sonnet (translated into English) in Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets. Though I'm not usually a big fan of poetry, this poem is definitely one of those works that touches on some aspect of my pilots love.Love, what a long way, to arrive at a kiss,
what loneliness-in-motion, toward your company!
Rolling with the rain we follow the tracks alone
In Taltal there is neither daybreak nor spring.
But you and I, love, we are together
from our clothes down to our roots:
together in the autumn, in water, in hips, until
we can be alone together--only you, only me.
To think of the effort, that the current carried
so many stones, the delta of Boroa water;
to think that you and I, divided by trains and nations,
we had only to love one another:
with all the confusions, the men and the women,
the earth that makes carnations rise, and makes them bloom!
Wow, sorry that got so wordy! I promise to keep things short for the rest of the week. All right, y'all, now hit me up with your recs!
P.S.--Don't forget that there are still lots of open weeks for anyone interested in hosting the Daily Pilots Posts. We want YOU.
Also, have we decided when the next rewatch is going to take place yet? What say you, Bee?
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no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 04:55 am (UTC)Anyways... It's generally music that does it for me, and while I forgot to add this song to Tara's list, I'm going to post it here.
I love you, by Sarah Mclachlan
I have a smile
Stretched from ear to ear
To see you walking down the road
We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
The world around disappears
Just you and me
On this island of hope
A breath between us could be miles
Let me surround you
My sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek
Oh and every time I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
And I forgot
To tell you
I love you
And the night's
Too long
And cold here
Without you
I grieve in my condition
For I cannot find the strength to say I need you so
Oh and every time I'm close to you
There's too much I can't say
And you just walk away
And I forgot
To tell you
I love you
And the night's
Too long
And cold here
Without you
It's right there. It's the way they look at each other when Lee comes back in the mini with Colonial One. It's the fight the morning after Colonial Day. It's the smile and then the hug in Home when Kara first gets back to the ship. It's what's unsaid when she's struggling to comfort him after the attack on the resurrection ship. It's what's hanging between them at the end of Captain's Hand. It's the way he sends her off to look for Anders, wishing her luck. It's in their greeting when she comes back with The Other Man. It's in everything in Eye Of Jupiter. The list goes on. To me, this song is Pilots, in all their bitter-sweet glory.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:02 am (UTC)The Cloister
by William Matthews
The last light of a July evening drained
into the streets below: My love and I had hard
things to say and hear, and we sat over
wine, faltering, picking our words carefully.
The afternoon before I had lain across
my bed and my cat leapt up to lie
alongside me, purring and slowly
growing dozy. By this ritual I could
clear some clutter from my baroque brain.
And into that brief vacancy the image
of a horse cantered, coming straight to me,
and I knew it brought hard talk and hurt
and fear. How did we do? A medium job,
which is well above average. But because
she had opened her heart to me as far
as she did, I saw her fierce privacy,
like a gnarled, luxuriant tree all hung
with disappointments, and I knew
that to love her I must love the tree
and the nothing it cares for me.
As a whole, it has nothing to do with Pilots. But the last two stanzas really fit the way Lee perceives Kara, at least until he starts to believe that she might love him back.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 11:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:11 am (UTC)Love Will Come To You
guess i wasn't the best one to ask
me myself with my face pressed up against love's glass
to see the shiny toy i've been hoping for
the one i never can afford
the wide world spins and spits turmoil
and the nations toil for peace
but the paws of fear upon your chest
only love can soothe that beast
and my words are paper tigers
no match for the predator of pain inside her
i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if I've offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there's now one there will be two
...
i close my eyes and wish you fine
(i'm always closing my eyes wishing i'm fine)
even though i know you're not this time
(even though i'm not this time)
i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if i've offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there's now one there will be two
dodging your memories
a field of knives
always on the outside looking in on other's lives
i say love will come to you
hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true
as if i've offered up a crystal ball to look through
where there's now one there will be two
and i wish her insight to battle love's blindness
strength from the milk of human kindness
a safe place for all the pieces that scattered
learn to pretend there's more than love that matters
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:57 pm (UTC)And there's not enough room in this world for my pain
Signals cross and love gets lost and time passed makes it plain
Of all my demon spirits I need you the most
I'm in love with your ghost
I'm in love with your ghost
Dark and dangerous like a secret that gets whispered in a hush
When I wake the things I dreamt about you last night make me blush
When you kiss me like a lover, then you sting me like a viper
I go follow to the river, play your memory like the piper
And I feel it like a sickness, how this love is killing me
But I'd walk into the fingers of your fire willingly
And dance the edge of sanity, I've never been this close
In love with your ghost
Oo oo-oo ooh, oo-oo ooh oo ooh
Oo oo-oo ooh, oo-oo ooh oo ooh
Unknowing captor, you'll never know how much you
Pierced my spirit, but I can't touch you
Can you hear it, a cry to be free
I'm forever under lock and key as you pass through me
Now I see your face before me, I would launch a thousand ships
To bring your heart back to my island as the sand beneath me slips
As I burn up in your presence, and I know now how it feels
To be weakened like Achilles, with you always at my heels
And my bitter pill to swallow is the silence that I keep
It poisons me, I can't swim free, the river is too deep
Though I'm baptized by your touch, I am no worse at most
In love with your ghost
In love with your ghost
You are shadowing my dreams
In love with your ghost
Oo oo-oo ooh, oo-oo ooh oo ooh
In love with your ghost
Oo oo-oo ooh, oo-oo ooh oo ooh
And whenever I hear Romeo and Juliet I think of Daybreak's K/L vid (http://daybreak777.livejournal.com/88637.html) now.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:23 am (UTC)"FOUND TRUE LOVE, MARRIED OTHER PEOPLE."
I had read that in a book somewhere a while back and I just equate that with pilots.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 11:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:27 am (UTC)1. In These Arms (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PonavQsRK3M) - The Swell Season
Use the truth as a weapon
To beat up all your friends
Every chink in the armor
An excuse to cause offense
Plus the chorus is Maybe I was born to hold you in these arms. How could I not love it for pilots?
2. The Rain (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HaVNBEYVyw&feature=PlayList&p=E454BF511963DF28&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=2) - The Swell Season
Just before the rain came down
The sun came out at last
And as for all assumptions made,
And questions never asked
I know we're not where I promised you we'd be by now
But maybe it's a question of who'd want it anyhow?
3. Sunset Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucboYlQrv9o&feature=PlayList&p=990DA71A0B5179E7&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=5) - Richard Thompson
With you or without you, love,
I must be moving
Never meant to linger here so long
With you or without you,
though it breaks my heart
To hear the Sunset Song
Wasn't that a time we had,
and bless you for it
But I'm a stranger here, I don't belong
The band's down on the jetty,
if you cup your ear
You'll hear the Sunset Song
I'm restraining myself from posting all of the lyrics, because I love this song to a ridiculous degree. But this comment's long enough as is. ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 11:13 am (UTC)I Know the Reason
You talk tough to me and it makes me smile
By the old church yard your feelings hide
I know the reason
And you won't say:
"If we grow too close, will you push away?"
I know the reason
And I like, that we're the same
Waterfall...
Are you afrain to love? You afraid to smile?
From the inside out, to the open wide?
I know the feeling. You're way too proud
And will they find you out if you laugh out loud?
I know, that we're the same.
Waterfall. Umbrella in the rain
And I won't ask why. I know the reason
I thought you should know. I know the reason.
I'll never be the same.
I clearly see umbrella in the rain
Over you and me
You are the best thing. Let it show
And if we grow to close, let it undertow
This is the best thing
I know, that we're the same.
Waterfall. Umbrella in the rain
And I won't ask why. I know the reason
I thought you should know. I know the reason.
Should we fall down?
fall down. fall down. fall down
fall down. fall down.
I know, that we're the same.
Waterfall. Umbrella in the rain
And I won't ask why. I know the reason
I thought you should know. I know the reason.
On Any Given Day
I woke, I broke free drove a long time
It didn't purge you from my mind
Hang up the halo, maybe you're right
Chalk it up to a starry night
To be set free, to live and learn
Did we pass or fail the term?
You wrote a note with chalk on my door
A message I'd known long before:
On any given day, you'll find me gone
On any given day, you'll find me gone
Give me your reason, give me your rhyme
So I can tempo me to your time
So I can scratch your surface and be
A deeper part of the mystery
To be undone, to be alone
To live life in monotone
I reach the beach and try to ignore
The warning I'd known long before
On any given day, you'll find me gone
On any given day, you'll find me gone
I've been down to the sea
I've been down to the sea
And so all of the lovers will say
Forever star-crossed will we stay
Still I can't help feeling castaway
on any given day
Still I can't help feeling you'll run away
on any given day
I window shop for you in my mind
A flannel shirt at the five and dime
A lether coat cut big city style
Boots from plastic crocodile
A pinecone dipped in glitter glue
A penny 1942
A necklace with a cheap green stone
Barefeet, cold sand. Chill to the bone
I've been down to the sea
I've been down to the sea
And so all of the lovers will say
Forever star-crossed will we stay
Still I can't help feeling castaway
on any given day
Still I can't help feeling you'll run away
on any given day
My eye on you. My eye on you.
My eye on you always
I've been down to the sea
I've been down to the sea
And so all of the lovers will say
Forever star-crossed will we stay
Still I can't help feeling castaway
on any given day
Still I can't help feeling you'll run away
on any given day
I lift my hands up, smell to reveal
Your perfume on the steering wheel
You're next to me asleep and I smile
I think I'll drive on for awhile
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 11:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 12:40 pm (UTC)As for the rewatch, I dunno. I feel like we didn't get as much partipcation on Friday as I would have expected based on our polling data (hee.)
So..... shall we ask again? I really did like your idea of a rotating schedule.....
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:02 am (UTC)Well, as scientific as your poll was, LJ being a bitch that night didn't help...
Yes, let's ask again! And by "us" I mean you, yes. (ILU!) rotating obviously works for me if the people wanna give it a shot.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 02:53 pm (UTC)The first was recently recced to me by
The second, tiny part of a long fic, is by the ever delightful Ms. Bee (points up).
****SPOILER ALERT for BORROWED TIME - CHAPTER 9 (http://workerbee73.livejournal.com/76154.html#cutid1) by
After a few seconds, she followed, sliding shaky legs down to stand on the ground. She braced herself against the edge of the truck and so did he, but their bodies didn't touch. Just his chest in front of hers, his hands on either side of hers, eyes closed, just breathing. The only thing touching was their foreheads—as if they might not be able to keep their balance unless there was some physical contact. As if they both knew that touching anywhere else would be too intimate, too painful.
Devoid of thought, shattered, they said nothing. They stood there for so long that Kara feared that she should probably just go. Straighten up her clothes, get in her truck and never look back. It was over. Done.
Just when she was about to pull away, Lee brought his hand up and gently traced the tear on the sleeve of her shirt. Closing his eyes, slowly he bent down and pressed his lips to the long scrape on the top of her shoulder. The gesture was so tender, so intimate, that Kara forgot to breathe. Before she knew it, she'd brushed her fingers through his hair, her thumb carefully touching the bruise forming on his cheek. She lifted his face up and held it between her hands.
Their lips found their way back to each other carefully, tentatively. Mouths softly touching, fragile and shy in the rain.
The storm had passed.
This is completely and utterly them. I can completely see them frakking in anger, just to release, and then coming together, soft, vulnerable and open to loving each other.
ETA: Also, The Special Two (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/missyhiggins/thespecialtwo.html), by Missy Higgins
I've already taken up a ton of space, so I'll just post the last stanza.
When we would only need each other, we'd breathe together,
Our hands would not be taught to hold another's,
We were the special two.
And we could only see each other, we'd bleed together,
These arms would not be taught to need another,
'Cause we're the special two.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 07:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 04:14 pm (UTC)1. A Sunny Day in Tartarus (http://community.livejournal.com/remix_redux/27275.html) -
30. How the air changes when someone you love walks into the room
With her arms wrapped around him Kara is suddenly small, receptive, instead of her usual explosive self. She wants to know that they’re okay, because sometimes she’ll let him be the one to decide that.
She moves her head a little and he whispers forever into her hair before he remembers that she doesn’t believe in forevers: she believes in cycles.
And then there's the end, which I won't repost here on the off chance that there's anyone who hasn't already read this story. If that's you, go read it right now. The end is divine.
2. All I need is the air that I breathe (and to love you) (http://fadingphantom.livejournal.com/9890.html) -
I guess that’s all we’ll ever be now, huh?
She turns, and when she looks at him her eyes are gentle but hold an infinite sadness, as well as a glimpse of something else... something that scares him as her every self-destructive and hurtful tendency had not, because he would almost think it was goodbye, if he didn’t know better.
He frowns slightly, bewildered, because this is Kara and they’ve never said goodbye, not really, because they are both supposed to know deep down that their someday will come. Not today, but one day, when they are finally strong enough to trust each other with their hearts, as they do now with their lives.
But in the time it takes for those thoughts to flash through his head, she looks down and away, and then the moment passes, and the next time she meets his eyes she’s Starbuck again, and she’s punching him on the shoulder and telling him to move his ass already, because don’t think she’ll pass up the opportunity to have the CAG fly her wing.
And though she’s Starbuck once more he still sees a hint of Kara’s vulnerability lingering in the set of her shoulders, so he lets it slide, telling himself they’ll have plenty of time after this current mission is over, to sit down and unwind, and maybe even try to talk like the friends they once were.
He lets himself forget that for the space of a moment there he couldn’t breathe, because looking into her eyes left him feeling strangely shaken and scared, like a child standing at the crumbling edge of a precipice, unable to stop it from collapsing, and not understanding what would happen when it does.
Two hours later, that cliff disintegrates under him, and he understands.
And the rest of the story.
Other stories that I considered mentioning here, but didn't: Angle of Descent by
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 04:28 pm (UTC)My favourite line is this one:
He can’t breathe suddenly, because he can’t believe that he let her go thinking she was anything less than his whole world.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 05:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 06:13 pm (UTC)Now, I was always more of an *NSYNC girl to the extent I could stand the boy bands back then. And there's a fairly finite amount of material featuring our pilots worth using in a 'shippy fanvid, so most are variations on a theme, but this is one I keep coming back to watch again. It might be that the lyrics really sum them up for me:
****
"Incomplete" by the Backstreet Boys
Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete
Incomplete
****
*sigh*
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 06:25 pm (UTC)I posted a quote two or three weeks ago, the second or third day of the DPPs, from a book called In the Woods by Tana French, which features a pair of cops, Rob and Cassie, who are insanely close and keep sparking off each other the way our pilots do. They start the book as just friends, but do become involved and... well, it all becomes very gut-wrenching. I don't want to give away the ending, but it also brings pilots to mind.
Plus, two fics about Apollo and Artemis (They say the myths are full of incest, eh?)
http://yuletidetreasure.org/archive/66/smallstep.html
http://yuletidetreasure.org/archive/48/andnever.html
Another one, which I think most of you know about.. heh, is the series by Suzanne Collins that starts with Hunger Games, continues with Catching Fire. The protagonist, young Katniss, is a guarded, world-weary teenager in a post-apocolyptic world, who is a skilled huntress with a bow and arrow (shades of not just Starbuck, but also Artemis!) who has a strained realtionship with her mother, and whose father died. She is guarded and jaded and sarcastic and doesn't smile much... except when she is in the woods hunting with her best friend Gale...who pines for her and wants to run off and have a bright shiny future with her, and yet is easily riled and loves democracy and just wants what is right for the people of Panem. He helps/teaches her to hunt and they have a partnership to take care of each others families. I see more than a few shades of our Kara and Lee in these characters. (And for full disclosure, Katniss has another love interest in the series, Peeta, who is very pining and emo and silver-tongued, and many folks find a lot of similarities to Lee in him. Although they're wrong because Gale is clearly the Lee, but I love them, so I forgive them anyway. ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 01:18 am (UTC)Although they're wrong because Gale is clearly the Lee, but I love them, so I forgive them anyway. ;)
*Cackles* WORD.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 01:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 06:31 pm (UTC)"Nemesis" by David Gray
'Neath an avalanche - soft as moss
I'm a creeping and intangible sense of loss
I'm the memory you can't get out your head
If I leave you now
You'll wish you were somewhere else instead
I'm the manta ray - I'm the louse
I am a photograph they found in your burned out house
I'm the sound of money washing down the drain
I am the pack of lies baby that keeps you sane
Gates of Heaven are open wide
God help me baby I'm trapped inside
Feel like I'm buried alive
I'm the bottom line - of the joke
I am ecstasy - spilling like bright egg yolk
I'm the thoughts you're too ashamed to ever share
And I am the smell of it - you're trying to wash out of you hair
Gates of Heaven are open wide
God help me baby I'm lost inside
Feel like I'm buried alive
Possibilities limitless
Just give me something that's more than this
One shot and I'll never miss
yes
I'm the babe that sleeps through the blitz
I am a sudden and quite unexpected twist
I am your one true love who sleeps with someone else
I am your nemesis
Baby I'm life sweet life itself
no subject
Date: 2010-03-22 11:40 pm (UTC)I am a sudden and quite unexpected twist
I am your one true love who sleeps with someone else
I am your nemesis
Baby I'm life sweet life itself
This is completely pilots. Bravo!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:19 am (UTC)This definitely speaks to the ways of our pilots. Great!
no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 12:17 am (UTC)Breakeven By The Script
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)
You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no it don't breakeven, no
What am I gonna do
When the best part of me was always you
And what am I supposed to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Oh, it don't breakeven, no
Some of the lines are just so pilots. Lee got time and Kara got freedom. If we know Lee and we know our Lee, he would've fell apart after Kara was no longer there.
Love this song.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 01:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-23 01:46 am (UTC)Love this song! Give it a listen it's worth it.
Some quotations from Rainer Maria Rilke
Date: 2010-03-23 04:45 am (UTC)Requiem for a Friend
I have my dead, and I have let them go,
and was amazed to see them so contented,
so soon at home in being dead, so cheerful,
so unlike their reputation.
Only you
return; brush past me, loiter, try to knock
against something, so that the sound reveals
your presence. Don’t take from me what I
am slowly learning. I’m sure you have gone astray
if you are moved to homesickness for anything
in this dimension.
I thought you were much further on. It troubles me
that you should stray back, you, who have achieved
more transformation than any other woman.
That we were frightened when you died...no; rather:
that your stern death broke in upon us, darkly,
wrenching the till-then from the ever-since –
this concerns us: setting it all in order
is the task we have continually before us.
But that you too were frightened, and even now
pulse with your fear;
that you have lost even the smallest fragment
of your eternity; that out there,
bewildered for the first time, inattentive,
you didn’t grasp the splendor of the infinite
forces, as on earth you grasped each thing;
that, from the realm which already had received you,
the gravity of some old discontent
has dragged you back to measurable time –
this often startles me out of dreamless sleep
at night, like a thief climbing in my window.
If I could say it is only out of kindness,
out of your great abundance, that you have come,
because you are so secure, so self-contained,
that you can wander anywhere, like a child,
not frightened of any harm that might await you...
But no: you’re pleading. This penetrates me, to
my very bones, and cuts at me like a saw.
The bitterest rebuke your ghost could bring me,
could scream to me, at night, when I withdraw
into my lungs, into my guts,
into the last bare chamber of my heart,
such bitterness would not chill me half so much
as this mute pleading. What is it that you want?
Why have you come like this
and so denied yourself? Why do you show me
an evil omen in the way you stand?
What makes you read the contours of your body
like the lines engraved inside a palm, so that
I cannot see them now except as fate?
Come into the candlelight. I’m not afraid
to look the dead in the face.
Don’t be frightened if I understand it now;
it’s rising in me, ah, I’m trying to grasp it,
must grasp it, even if I die of it. Must grasp
that you are here. As a blind man grasps an object,
I feel your fate, although I cannot name it.
Requiem for a Friend, by Rainer Maria Rilke, continued
Date: 2010-03-23 04:52 am (UTC)You needed your whole self; and so you went
and broke yourself, in pieces,
painfully, because your need was great.
Then from the night-warm soilbed of your heart
you dug the seeds, still green, from which your death
would sprout: your own, your perfect death, the one
that was your whole life’s perfect consummation.
And swallowed down the kernels of your death, and were
startled to find an aftertaste of sweetness
you hadn’t planned on, a sweetness on your lips, you
who inside your senses were so sweet already.
Do you know how hesitantly,
how reluctantly your blood, when you called it back,
returned from its incomparable circuit?
How confused it was to take up once again
the body’s narrow circulation; it
was exhausted by the long journey home,
and wanted, after all that, to be happy.
A painful task:
A task beyond all strength. But you performed it
day after day; you dragged yourself in front of it;
you pulled the lovely weft out of the loom
and wove your threads into a different pattern.
And still had courage enough for celebration.
Can you hear me?
I would like to fling my voice out like a cloth
over the fragments of your death, and keep
pulling at it until it is torn to pieces...
For this suffering has lasted
far too long; none of us can bear it; it is too heavy –
As little as a captain can hold the carved
Nike facing outward from his ship’s prow
when the lightness of her godhead suddenly
lifts her up, into the bright sea-wind:
so little can one of us call back the woman
who, now no longer seeing us, walks on
along the narrow strip of her existence
as though by miracle, in perfect safety –
unless, that is, he wishes to do wrong.
For this is wrong, if anything is wrong:
not to enlarge the freedom of a love
with all the inner freedom one can summon.
We need, in love, to practice only this:
letting each other go. For holding on
comes easily; we do not need to learn it.
Are you still here?
You knew so much of all this, you were able
to do so much; you passed through life so open
to all things, like an early morning. I know:
for love means being alone;
and artists in their work sometimes intuit
that they must keep transforming, where they love.
You were far beyond all fame; were almost
invisible; had withdrawn your beauty, softly,
as one would lower a brightly-colored flag
on the gray morning after a holiday.
You had just one desire: a years-long work –
which was not finished; was somehow never finished.
If you are still here with me, if in this darkness
there is still some place where your spirit resonates
on the shallow soundwaves stirred up by my voice:
hear me; help me. We can so easily
slip back from what we have struggled to attain,
abruptly, into a life we never wanted;
can find that we are trapped, as in a dream,
and die there, without ever waking up.
Help me.
Tell me, must I travel? Did you leave
some thing behind, some place, that cannot bear
your absence? Must I set out for a country
you never saw, although it was as vividly
near to you as your own senses were?
I will sail its rivers, search its valleys, inquire
about its oldest customs; I will stand
for hours, talking with women in their doorways
and watching, while they call their children home.
I will see the way they wrap the land around them
in their ancient work in field and meadow; will ask
to be led before their king; will bribe the priests
to take me to their temple, before the most
powerful of the statues in their keeping,
and to leave me there, shutting the gates behind them.
And only then, when I have learned enough,
I will go and watch the animals, and let
something of their composure slowly glide
into my limbs; will see my own existence
deep in their eyes, which hold me for a while
and let me go, serenely, without judgment.
And fruits: I will buy fruits, and in their sweetness
that country’s earth and sky will live again.
For that is what you understood: ripe fruits.
You set them before the canvas, in white bowls,
and weighed out each one’s heaviness with your colors.
And that is how I have cherished you – deep inside,
where you put yourself, far away
from all the world.
Re: Requiem for a Friend, by Rainer Maria Rilke, continued
Date: 2010-03-23 01:16 pm (UTC)This. This poem is stunningly, arrestingly beautiful. And the way it speaks about the K/L relationship. It is illuminating, heartbreaking, real, bitter, gorgeous, so sad, so so true.
Thank you for introducing me to this poem - so many lines want to make me write fic!
Re: Requiem for a Friend, by Rainer Maria Rilke, continued
Date: 2010-03-23 02:13 pm (UTC)I do occasionally find a poet who seems somehow "tuned in" to some particular world or character ~ Rilke is my Galactica poet. I first realized it when I came across a much shorter poem in which he was talking about the division between men and gods, and he slipped in the line:
"Our mind is split. And at the shadowed
crossing of heart-roads, there is no temple for Apollo."
I thought ~ hmmm. I think I may have found someone tuned in to Lee :)
Re: Requiem for a Friend, by Rainer Maria Rilke, continued
Date: 2010-03-26 02:16 pm (UTC)The wonderful thing is is that it has helped to elucidate some things I hadn't been able to put into words about the ending Kara was given, which I hated... but this poem makes me want to think it out, make it work, somehow..!
If I write fic, you're being implicated.
Re: Requiem for a Friend, by Rainer Maria Rilke, continued
Date: 2010-03-27 01:48 am (UTC)Part of why I loved it was the way it invested history and meaning into their separations. I think my favorite verse, the one that gets to the heart of "Daybreak," is:
You knew so much of all this, you were able to do so much; you passed through life so open to all things, like an early morning. I know: for love means being alone; and artists in their work sometimes intuit that they must keep transforming, where they love. You were far beyond all fame; were almost invisible; had withdrawn your beauty, softly, as one would lower a brightly-colored flag on the gray morning after a holiday.
There's something in that last image, so military and yet so gentle, that makes the infamous 'poof' feel more personal, more *them,* somehow. Maybe more a moment of genuine transformation rather than simple absence.
Anyhow, not to chatter on. But yay. Please write fic someday :)
no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 12:42 am (UTC)That’s such a beautiful way to describe your love for pilots, Heather. I pretty much feel like you… My love for Lee and Kara has grown stronger and deeper over the years because of all the people who love them and have contributed to create that complex and fascinating collective mindset. I honestly think that my perception of Lee and Kara and her relationship wouldn’t be the same without my fellow shippers and the experience of just sharing.
The Neruda’s poem is lovely, btw, I love his way to capture something so unfathomable as love… Personally, Neruda’s Sonnet LXVI, “I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You” always touches me, it’s all about Lee’s love for Kara :)
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
As for fic… wow, that’s really tough because there are so many wonderful stories and so many beautiful portraits of K/L relationhip. But I am gonna quote one of my favorite fics from last year, ”Aerilon Girls Are Easy” (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4935384/1/Aerilon_Girls_Are_Easy) (it’s an AU, but it feels so canon!). This story has stayed with me since I read it. I think it captures Kara&Lee essence in such a raw, honest way. Love me some bittersweet pilots.
As long as Lee takes no risks, he ends up watching his life fall into a comfortable pattern and stay neatly folded into its confining and orderly shape. He is perfectly comfortable and healthy this way because this is the kind of person he is. He thinks, calculates, measures the practicality and chance of failure before making any move. And whenever she comes along again she always turns this safe order in which his life is arranged into a demolished wreckage, never failing to leave her mark that way. A stitched gash on his knee, pieces of a broken bottle with sharp edges like the angles of her body that feel so familiar to his hands in the dark, something he should know better than to touch if he wants to protect himself.
And yet he'll always keep letting her return through his door, because he knows with all the warnings she gave him about letting her come back the one thing she wasn't considering is that one day she might actually want to stay, and he hopes he isn't just unbelievably stupid for believing in her more than she does.
This pretty much summarize their entire relationship to me (and after this bit there is the last paragraph of the story –that metaphor, gah, it's so perfect--, that I won’t repost here in case somebody missed the story).
(And I know I am really late to the party but I love the topic and wanted to make my contribution :))
no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 01:15 am (UTC)So first of all, thank you! I'm glad that made sense to someone, and I'm excited you know exactly what I mean. I often think about how fandom has shaped the way I view them because honestly, without it I don't think I'd know them half as well as I do, you know?
You know, I think I actually may have that poem marked in my copy of Neruda--is that the same one you once used in another post, do you think? I know I have one marked that you've quoted before, because I remember loving the way you related it to K/L. Aw, see, you're still my K/L twin! Yay!
Which brings me to...Aerilon Girls Are Easy and that passage you quoted! It's funny, I think I knew which part you were going to use even before I started reading it, because that section really is the heart of Lee's neverending need for and love of Kara, isn't it? Whether the worlds had ended or not, I think that was always always going to be the case. They're just that epic, lol. And yeah, even though it's AU, that story is so freaking brilliant in how it brings us to the painful idea that maybe they were going to be that broken no matter what just due to all that'd happened even before the mini. So...yeah. I love that fic to pieces, but I also hate it a little too for making me even consider that possibility. Which of course is a sign of a really good, different story.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 09:52 am (UTC)Hee. I know *exactly* what you mean. You know, I fell head over heels in love with Lee and Kara’s relationship right from the start –mainly because they are the embodiment of some principles and beliefs I consider essential in a relationship. Sure, they are damaged and their relationship is far from perfect, but they love/respect/accept/trust/value/forgive/challenge each other, and those are values inextricably tied to my conception of a relationship.
But we are all shaped/biased by our own perceptions of the world, our experiences… And I honestly believe that my understanding of them wouldn’t be the same without fandom and all the… cognitive elaboration that this shared experience entails. So yeah, reading other people’s thoughts on them, reading fic and meta and just talking about them made me see aspects of their relationship I never considered before, made my perception of them considerably richer and more profound… And isn’t that a wonderful thing?
is that the same one you once used in another post, do you think?
The one I used in my post about Kara (it was that one!) is Neruda’s Sonet XVII, “I do not love you”, which I believe is perfect for Kara/Lee too (and here it is :))
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
Aw, see, you're still my K/L twin! Yay!
You always get me, Heather :D
that story is so freaking brilliant in how it brings us to the painful idea that maybe they were going to be that broken no matter what just due to all that'd happened even before the mini.
Maybe I love this story so much because it exactly encapsulates how I see them, how the fact that finding the right person at the wrong time shaped their relationship and attached a wrongness to it that would never have existed if they’d met each other before Kara got involved with Zak. And still, despite their guilty conscience, they kept on coming back to each other over and over because, as simple as that, they were in love, couldn't help loving each other, deeply and genuinely. I love the concept, I find it frakking romantic and epic ;)
So...yeah. I love that fic to pieces, but I also hate it a little too for making me even consider that possibility
I get what you mean. But you know, the reason I love that story to bits is that even though it portrays them as deeply damaged, they are not broken beyond repair. The story actually ends on a hopeful note, with the slightest hint that maybe, just maybe, when they grow up and learn to cope with their own demons –especially Kara--, they will have their moment. And they will keep on trying until then. And this pretty much encapsulates my view of pilots: Kara and Lee were not doomed for good, they needed to grow up and mature in order to fully embrace what they felt for each other.
PS Sorries for all the crazy editing! (it's just that I hate it when I find grammar/spelling mistakes in my comments ;P)