DPP: Pilots And Parents

[winegums.livejournal.com]

There are many, many things that went into the making of pilots as we know them, and their parents are a huge part of it right from the start, especially since it turns out they both had absent fathers (Kara's dad going AWOL altogether, Bill making only sporadic appearances in his sons' lives) and abusive mothers (it's heavily implied that Lee's mother was emotionally/verbally abusive).

Today I'd like us to contemplate - how did their relationships with their parents shape the people they became? And how did that affect Lee and Kara's relationship with each other?

Any thoughts? Theories? What do you think of the way the show handled pilots' parents?

Comments

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

Still cracks me up how much EJO looks like The Fonz in that bottom left picture.

I think their mutual mommy and daddy issues are one of the easiest and most natural reasons for pilots to bond. Especially in fic. It's almost funny how it's rarely touched upon in canon though. The only mention I can think of is from one of the (deleted?) scenes right before the final mission where Kara yells at Bill "No wonder Lee is so frakked up" or whatever.

[winegums.livejournal.com]

lol yes, that photoshop was hilariously bad - EJO looks so extra-flattened next to the two kids.

I don't think canon really explores the parental angle of things too often though, except with Lee and Bill because Bill is the only parent (of either pilot) left alive in the show's present-day. Socrata gets a little more discussion, but Dreilide and Carolanne as parents get exactly one episode each - before Someone to Watch Over Me, I actually thought he was dead and that's why Kara was left to the not-so-tender mercies of her mother.

(and yes, parental issues could be a point for them to bond, but I think their respective frustrations, especially over their mothers, are very rarely voiced though that doesn't stop them from bonding)

[wicked-sassy.livejournal.com]

Lee has a lot of the classic traits of being the child of an alcoholic. He judges himself harshly and takes himself very seriously, finds it hard to have fun and to have intimate relationships, and is super responsible and loyal. Kara also has a lot of traits of someone who was abused as a child--she's reckless, finds it hard to commit to intimate relationships, and has a lot of inner demons.

In my mind, this makes them sympathetic to each other, but at the same time, their often-impaired ability to communicate really hampers their relationship. Neither of them had their parents to model healthy, loving relationships, so they flail in trying to create their own. Poor bbs.

[winegums.livejournal.com]

This makes so much sense. Before ADITL, it was easy to think of Carolanne as the perfect parent because she was around when Bill wasn't, but it wasn't till afterwards that I had the big "a-HA!" moment about Lee, because it really sheds so much light on his character and why he strived so hard to do the right thing/want the right things. Same with Kara, once you know that her father abandoned the family and didn't just die, it puts her abandonment issues into a whole new perspective.

(and this is before we even consider Socrata and Bill - PapAdama wasn't abusive, but he certainly sounded like he was neglectful/pressuring, the way Lee saw him at first)

[workerbee73.livejournal.com]

**points upward**

What The Sassy said. ;)

[kdbleu.livejournal.com]

It's funny that this is today's topic because yesterday I was thinking about the fact that one of the least surprising things to me was Carolanne's drinking problem. It fit so perfectly with the fragile looking woman that Lee seemed to be protecting during the funeral flashbacks in AoC.

[winegums.livejournal.com]

Yeah, in hindsight it makes so much sense, both for Lee's character and the flashback - especially if he was trying to stop his mother falling apart over Zak's death and going on a bender.

[kdbleu.livejournal.com]

And Lee definitely has that quality like he's trying to hold things together, things for other people more than himself sometimes.

[winegums.livejournal.com]

Wow, you really have Lee dead-on here. There's so much truth to this (thinking about Lee consoling Bill after ruined!Earth, Lee during his marriage, and most of all Lee struggling to hold it together after Kara's death).

[m-a-r-i-k-s.livejournal.com]

I think it's a great subject and I tried to explore it in two of my videos both dedicated to Kara and Lee's childhood and their issues with their parents.
http://vimeo.com/15945498
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJciCss8uI0

I remember I made it a point to avoid showing Lee directly in Like O, Like H and Kara in Merry Go Round but doing the best to convey they're still there in each other's lives even before the time they met and especially when they're adults... like invisible shadows.

All their misunderstandings and almost-togetherness steams from what their parents put in their heads like a poison. And sadly, like we all do - pilots couldn't do anything but believe those ugly messages and manifest those beliefs in their life through their actions. But what amazes me to no end is their hearts perseverance, that despite that hell they had to live through when they were kids, physical or psychological, they still were trying to make it work years later, that they couldn't help wanting to connect and open up in each other's presence because it was more powerful an influence than those patterns of thinking inside their heads driving them to do crazy things to each other. <3

[winegums.livejournal.com]

But what amazes me to no end is their hearts perseverance, that despite that hell they had to live through when they were kids, physical or psychological, they still were trying to make it work years later, that they couldn't help wanting to connect and open up in each other's presence because it was more powerful an influence than those patterns of thinking inside their heads driving them to do crazy things to each other.

That is so beautifully put. So many of the obstacles to their relationship came from their own fears and guilt, and their childhoods explain a lot of that, but I love the fact that they did break the pattern by the end.