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no_takebacksAnd you never forget the first time.
The show offered us very few first times : the first time they met, the first time they almost slept together, the first time they actually did.
Now, most of us were not too pleased with those. But that’s the beauty of having such creative shippers in this comm, we can always count on them to correct what the writers did wrong. And if, by any chance, you are satisfied with the first times portrayed in canon, what other first times in our pilots’ lives were never mentioned? How about writing a few lines about them? Yes, I’m talking about comment fic, drabbles, poems, one-liners – it’s the weekend and anything goes.
This was my first time with the DPPs and it’s been such a pleasure. Have a great weekend everybody!
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no subject
Date: 2011-02-12 04:58 am (UTC)These are sonnets by Edna St. Vincent Millay. This first one feels to me like Kara and Lee in the very first days of the war, realizing that they have to find something personal, something joyful and meaningful to give them the strength to keep going and keep fighting. I think they find that in each other. It makes me think of the fanfic story "Supply and Demand," by sangga, which is also about how Kara and Lee learn to keep their sense of purpose by treasuring the simplest details and by caring for each other in a very basic way.
I must not die of pity; I must live;
Grow strong, not sicken; eat, digest my food,
That it may build me, and in doing good
To blood and bone, broaden the sensitive
Fastidious pale perception: we contrive
Lean comfort for the starving, who intrude
Upon them with our pots of pity: brewed
From stronger meat must be the broth we give.
....If I would help the weak, I must be fed
In wit and purpose, pour away despair
And rinse the cup, eat happiness like bread.
~~
This one, also by Millay, makes me think that this is how they might have felt after they first truly admitted and accepted that they loved each other. They knew that everything might still go wrong, they didn't quite trust each other fully or believe that everything was going to work out, but they still felt an indomitable sense that being loved even for a moment in such a complete way was something that could never be taken away from them.
I know my mind and I have made my choice;
Not from your temper does my doom depend;
Love me or love me not, you have no voice
In this, which is my portion to the end.
Your presence and your favours, the full part
That you could give, you now can take away;
What lies between your beauty and my heart
Not even you can trouble or betray.
Mistake me not – unto my utmost core
I do desire your kiss upon my mouth;
They have not craved a cup of water more
That bleach upon the deserts of the south;
Here might you bless me; what you cannot do
Is bow me down, who have been loved by you.
~~
And this last one, by Emily Dickinson, catches something of the feeling I think they shared the first time they saw each other again after Kara's death.
I have no life but this,
To lead it here;
Nor any death, but lest
Dispelled from there;
Nor tie to earths to come,
Nor action new,
Except through this extent,
The realm of you.
~~
The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-12 10:16 pm (UTC)Do you even remember that night? Gods, we were hammered. We were different people then, and yet still the same old Lee and Kara in so many ways. Poor Zak never knew we kept refilling his glass all night, or if he did, he never let on. At first, it was just funny messing with my little brother. As the night dragged on, though... We never could keep away from each other, could we? Since that first night we met, liquor and the illusion of being alone were all we ever needed to wind up with our tongues down each other's throats.
Zak woke up the first time, but he didn't the second time. And I ruined the third time. Just when I think enough time will pass and it won't feel like we're shitting on Zak's memory, I open my mouth and ruin whatever chance we have. I want another chance for us. If I could travel back in time, I'd go back to the moment I asked what was going on and I'd hold my tongue. I'd finally frak you without my brother somewhere in the same apartment. I have it stuck in my head that if we just did it once now that he's gone, it would somehow make up for the time we did it when you belonged to him. Like proving we're inevitably drawn together would make what I did to his fiancee somehow better. Or at least less bad.
Come back so I can stop hating myself.
Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-12 10:30 pm (UTC)Poor tortured, Lee. But you did a very nice job. :D
Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-12 10:43 pm (UTC)Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-12 10:54 pm (UTC)Until Him
Date: 2011-02-12 11:56 pm (UTC)She thinks she’s already half given up on Zak and her. Doesn’t know why. Kara just knows now that it will be something. The sweet look in his eyes and the hope in his smile never falter, but everything else will. Like the spring blooms losing their vibrancy as she bounds up the steps to the SIMs. Then she realizes she’s testing Zak today. Her heart sinks. A cloud floats in front of the sun, darkening the cool spring morn. Everything she touches fades, always does.
It gets easier after the first time she lies. Zak believes her all too easily. His eyes filling with pride as he gets his wings. His smile is so solemn. Kara feels like she’s going to throw up every time she sees those wings until the day they finally take him down in ball of fire. Then she barely makes it to the head before puking up her breakfast, black coffee burning all the way back up.
Kara doesn’t meet Lee until the wake. She steps outside for a smoke, squinting into the traitorous sunshine and finds Lee Adama alone by the coy pond. He’s a beacon in the sea of grief, stayed and silent. Kara feels ripped at the seams, racked by guilt and fear that everyone knows. She’s tumbling even as she walks.
He very nearly smiles when she joins him on the bench. Her heart skips a beat. His eyes are rimmed in red but bright as the blue sky. “I’m sorry,” he breathes as though it’s all he can eke out. “He loved you.”
It’s back to that old sinking feeling, wilting flowers on the vine. Her lip is trembling despite her best efforts. She clenches her eyes shut. It’s too perfect a day for death. Lee’s saying something to her, reassuring and undeserved. She braces, waiting for those lies to end. Finally she opens her eyes. They’re nose to nose. Dancing blue eyes peer into her soul. He knows even if he doesn’t ever say. So she kisses him.
Kara Thrace has kissed before. Many times. But never like this. It’s soft and slow but not tentative at all. It’s like he just knows. She can’t pull away or even close her eyes. They’re broken chards fit back together. He’s pieces she doesn’t know are missing. She glows with him.
They kiss delicate and beautiful until he moves back. His blush lights up her heart. Without thinking Kara reaches out as he leaves her. Her fingers graze the back of his hand. He gives a start but keeps moving away from her. She’s glad. She wouldn’t want to take his light too.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 01:43 am (UTC)What lies between your beauty and my heart
Not even you can trouble or betray.
It would be so mature of them to feel that way, I guess. This acceptance of their feelings no matter what, even what they themselves could do to hurt the other.
Thank you so much for these. :)
Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-13 01:45 am (UTC)Re: Until Him
Date: 2011-02-13 01:51 am (UTC)He’s pieces she doesn’t know are missing.
Loved this. I have a new quote for my list of favorite ones. *hugs*
Re: Until Him
Date: 2011-02-13 01:54 am (UTC)*hugs back* *blushs*
Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 06:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 06:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 08:10 pm (UTC)___________________
She closes her eyes and gets lost in the sensation of kissing him. It's not the first time they've kissed and it's certainly not the first time she's wanted to kiss him. It's just the first time she's allowing herself to really let go and be consumed by his kiss ... by him. She once said there was nothing between them. She hadn't lied. There is nothing between them. No secrets, no lies, no fears. It's just Kara and Lee and the rest of it doesn''t matter.
Re: Until Him
Date: 2011-02-13 08:13 pm (UTC)Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-13 08:14 pm (UTC)*sigh* Nicely done bb. I miss your writing!
Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-13 08:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 08:25 pm (UTC)I really like how you changed the meaning of this. Gives another perspective to things.
Re: Until Him
Date: 2011-02-13 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 08:34 pm (UTC)A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-13 08:37 pm (UTC)Maybe it's better that it took so long, that we didn't wake up together and have it mean nothing like it always threatened to be. That night after BB died and we talked about everything that would never be, missed opportunities discussed in thinly veiled references to lives that we never got to have.
It's funny that war brought us together again, after everything, and led us to this place where we can live the way we want to, old loyalties obliterated by the sheer magnitude of what we've been through. And I see it sometimes, in the haunted look you get when you think I'm not looking, when the dark circles under your eyes tell me you have not slept. Those mornings I still wake without you, but I understand. I've always understood, but now you let me say it.
The first time was the best time because we really wanted it. We both agreed, you long after I had already decided. I know it wasn't like you to wait, to delay something that you wanted in the moment. Even now it makes me smile and think that it's a wonder we don't beat each other everyday. You with your impatience and me methodical, waiting for the right time for everything. It's a good balance, what we have now. I think you feel it, too - not that you'd ever admit it, of course. You'd just throw something at me and tell me to stop overthinking it. But I do - I think about it a lot and I'm grateful.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 08:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 08:41 pm (UTC)Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-13 08:42 pm (UTC)Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-13 08:44 pm (UTC)So lovely.
But I do - I think about it a lot and I'm grateful.
And this, sweet and very Lee.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-13 09:54 pm (UTC)Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-14 12:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-14 12:20 am (UTC)There was nothing between them and everything was between them.
Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-14 12:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-14 01:42 am (UTC)<3<3<3
Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-14 04:32 am (UTC)Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-14 04:32 am (UTC)Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-14 04:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-14 04:34 am (UTC)Re: Until Him
Date: 2011-02-14 04:37 am (UTC)Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-14 04:47 am (UTC)Re: Until Him
Date: 2011-02-14 04:50 am (UTC)(I've been writing really funny lately and beginning to get a complex.)
Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-14 02:12 pm (UTC)Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-14 02:13 pm (UTC)Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-14 02:13 pm (UTC)Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-14 02:14 pm (UTC)Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-14 02:43 pm (UTC)Re: A bit of schmoop for your Sunday :)
Date: 2011-02-14 02:48 pm (UTC)*sniffles*
You with your impatience and me methodical, waiting for the right time for everything.
YES, exactly!
You'd just throw something at me and tell me to stop overthinking it. But I do - I think about it a lot and I'm grateful.
hehehe so cute. And she so would!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-14 03:02 pm (UTC)She once said there was nothing between them. She hadn't lied. There is nothing between them. No secrets, no lies, no fears.
I agree this line is great. I love it when you turn the meaning around on it's head. :)
Re: Until Him
Date: 2011-02-14 03:12 pm (UTC)Awwww so sad! Poor Kara. I hate how she always feels so cursed in love.
This was beautiful hon!
Re: The Time We Swore We'd Forget
Date: 2011-02-14 03:28 pm (UTC)Since that first night we met, liquor and the illusion of being alone were all we ever needed to wind up with our tongues down each other's throats.
So true!
Come back so I can stop hating myself.
*hugs Lee* Poor boy!!
no subject
Date: 2011-02-14 03:32 pm (UTC)Also, I LOVE this line in the second one:
Love me or love me not, you have no voice
Re: Until Him
Date: 2011-02-14 04:02 pm (UTC)