DPP: Angst

[scifishipper.livejournal.com]

Happy and fun pilots make me smile and laugh and feel good, but I have to say that my heart responds most to the angst, that achy feelings that drives me to write and read and watch pilots over and over again.

For today, I'm going to ask you to write a bit of angst. You can resolve with some happy if you like, but let's see the struggle first. Wanna go dark? Do it. Need to work out some demons via a little fic? Let's see it. The conflict and angst in BSG and between pilots provides more than enough fodder for the angstiest among us.

Not feeling the angst? Try pressing play, then give yourself a few minutes and I bet you'll be writing angst before you know it!

If that doesn't work, here are some prompts to get your angst (or your ire) up. Some of these can be set anywhere (AU, pre-mini, academy, post-finale, or canon). Some are pretty ouchy, so be warned (and brave!). :D

Kara stays with Zak after she and Lee sleep together.
Kara tells Lee that she's going to poof.
Lee gets trapped on New Caprica with Kara and Sam.
Lee tries to apologize to Kara right after she meets with Laura about the Arrow (KLG).
Lee wakes up first, but Kara marries Sam anyway.
Kara and Lee have a tentative romance and then Kara finds out she's pregnant with Sam's baby.
Kara and Lee get together after the Colonial Day dance, but it doesn't go as planned.
Kara divorces but Lee's still not convinced.
Sam is killed or nearly killed by centurions on the algae planet.
Kara is revealed to be a cylon before maelstrom.

Also, please warn if you are writing anything particularly disturbing or triggering. Thanks. Readers, please heed author warnings. :)

ETA: Hello again to all of the lurkers and regulars that came out to play yesterday. I'm feeling much happier and surrounded by K/L-loving peeps. <3<3

Comments

prompted by the pics

[themonkeytwin.livejournal.com]

Just my little contribution while I procrastinate from getting stuff done. But those photos are some of my absolute favourite Lee expressions. And I do love brining the angst sometimes. I can't not. *angst!flail*

Vague allusions to Kara's past things.


Don't

You can't die.

She stares at him, lying there. A hole in his chest. The medbay's deserted now, the middle of the night, no Dee beseeching him to stay, words Kara has no right to say.

Don't die.

Please. Gods.

Lee.

No one's here, but she still can't come any closer to that bed, that beeping monitor. She can't stay away, but going any closer to his side makes her feel physically sick. So she stands there like she's trapped in amber, screaming inside her echo-chamber head.

Don't, please, don't.

Her hand, holding a pen, hovering over check boxes.

I killed Zak.

Her hand, holding a golden arrow, walking away.

I killed Sam.

Her hand, holding a gun, squeezing the trigger.

Don't, don't, please.

Her hands are shaking now, her whole body trembling.

Don't let me kill you.

She'd known, she'd always known. Her parents knew, must have known, too; her father fled and all her mother could do was try to beat it out of her. If Zak and Sam had known, maybe they'd still be alive.

But they hadn't known. They'd tried to love her and let her love them and didn't know it would kill them.

Her eyes trace his face, seeing the shock, the pain, the confusion above her gunsights. Heartbeats of don't.

Don't. Don't. Don't.

Ever since she'd known him, that had been the refrain. Don't love me. I'm not free. Don't love me. I'm not worth it. Don't love me. I'm cursed.

Don't love me. I'm poison.

He lies there, so fragile, so close to death, and she cringes under every twinge of hope she'd ever felt, that maybe – maybe – he was someone she could love and not destroy. The breath in her lungs wails with wanting, but terror pumps through her veins, swamping it with don't.

She wants to go to him.

Don't.

She wants to beg him to forgive her.

Don't.

She wants to beg him to live.

Don't.

She wants to beg him to love her and not die.

Don't.

Re: prompted by the pics

[kag523.livejournal.com]

Love the repeating refrain. You've really captured something about the cyclical nature of her thoughts. It really works. :>)

Re: prompted by the pics

[themonkeytwin.livejournal.com]

Thanks! They both get so stuck in their own heads, sometimes. I'm glad it works :)

Re: prompted by the pics

[kdbleu.livejournal.com]

Achy. Poor, poor Kara.

Re: prompted by the pics

[themonkeytwin.livejournal.com]

She just can't catch a break. :(

Re: prompted by the pics

[callmeonetrack.livejournal.com]

This is gorgeous! <3

I esp. love the repetition of "Her hand..." and zak/sam/lee

Re: prompted by the pics

[themonkeytwin.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Poor Kara – everything's so very immediate with her. Personally, I can't blame her for all the evasions she did with Lee. :(