ext_111982 (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
ninety6tears.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
no_takebacks2010-11-17 04:13 am
ninety6tears.livejournal.com) wrote in no_takebacks2010-11-17 04:13 am
Entry tags:
Overheard on Galactica
If you have never heard of the humor blog Overheard In New York, you have probably been missing out on some hilarity. It's pretty much what it sounds like: People send in snippets of other people's exchanges they happen to hear in NYC, and the result is a hell of a lot of random, at times senseless out-of-context dialogue.
Now, everyone has moments where they realize, "That would have been really weird and made absolutely no sense if somebody overheard that." And what with the post-apocalyptic claustrophobia of the fleet, I'm sure that moments like these happen on Galactica all the time. So for today I want you to invent some. You may like to browse the NYC blog to get an idea of the format, but here are some I came up with to get us started:
Captain entering briefing room: How's the training going?
Pilot: I'm about to shove this new nugget up your-
Captain: You know, I think I'll just come back when you're in a better mood.
Pilot: Good plan.
--Overheard by Hot Dog
Dismayed Raptor pilot: I mean, I always did think you had a secret little kink for...
Viper pilot: What? Mad scientists?
Raptor pilot: Politicians.
Viper pilot: He'd only been the vice president for like an hour, though.
Raptor pilot: ...Fast work.
--Lockers
Stall #2: Is it bigger than a stick of butter?
Stall #1: Why are you always trying to get me to play '20 questions' while we're in the shower?
Stall #4: Who's that on the end?
Stall #3: Starbuck's tryin' to ask if Apollo's tool is bigger than a stick of butter.
Stall #4: Oh.
Stall #1: I haven't even thought of what it is yet.
Stall #3: Your dick?
Stall #1: What?!
Stall #2: ...So how big is it?
Stall #1: I don't believe that's a yes-or-no question, Lieutenant.
--Showers
Overheard by: Still can't find the guest restrooms
Now, everyone has moments where they realize, "That would have been really weird and made absolutely no sense if somebody overheard that." And what with the post-apocalyptic claustrophobia of the fleet, I'm sure that moments like these happen on Galactica all the time. So for today I want you to invent some. You may like to browse the NYC blog to get an idea of the format, but here are some I came up with to get us started:
Captain entering briefing room: How's the training going?
Pilot: I'm about to shove this new nugget up your-
Captain: You know, I think I'll just come back when you're in a better mood.
Pilot: Good plan.
--Overheard by Hot Dog
Dismayed Raptor pilot: I mean, I always did think you had a secret little kink for...
Viper pilot: What? Mad scientists?
Raptor pilot: Politicians.
Viper pilot: He'd only been the vice president for like an hour, though.
Raptor pilot: ...Fast work.
--Lockers
Stall #2: Is it bigger than a stick of butter?
Stall #1: Why are you always trying to get me to play '20 questions' while we're in the shower?
Stall #4: Who's that on the end?
Stall #3: Starbuck's tryin' to ask if Apollo's tool is bigger than a stick of butter.
Stall #4: Oh.
Stall #1: I haven't even thought of what it is yet.
Stall #3: Your dick?
Stall #1: What?!
Stall #2: ...So how big is it?
Stall #1: I don't believe that's a yes-or-no question, Lieutenant.
--Showers
Overheard by: Still can't find the guest restrooms
no subject
Alas, am at work and have no time. perhaps later?
no subject
Pilot: ...not talk about this?
Uberpilot: Racetrack said if it hadn't been for you the Raptor would've been toast. She said you pulled off before anyone else even figured out what was going on.
Pilot: So?
Uberpilot: So, does this mean we're officially over the death-wish phase? 'Cause that would be cool. I had another pep talk all prepared, but if you're over it I'm not gonna bother.
Pilot: I don't have a death wish. I just want to be left alone for a bit, okay?
Uberpilot: Sorry, I've decided to stick with you night and day, just to be safe. That was part of the pep talk. This little Raptor episode proves at least that you're not the kind of guy to drift into an explosion as long as there are other people in the ship with you. So I'm calling shotgun on the wild ride that is your life. Get used to it.
Pilot: On second thought, I think I do want to die.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Drunk 1: But you knew, right? From, like, the first minute?
Drunk 2: Yeah. I knew.
Drunk 1: Me, too. So why didn't you make your move, man? That's what I never got about you. You had so much time at first. With her, I never waited for anything.
Drunk 2: She was dating my brother.
Drunk 1: What?
Drunk 2: She was dating my brother when we met.
Drunk 1: Okay. But what about after they broke up?
Drunk 2: They didn't break up. They got engaged.
Drunk 1: Wait a minute. Are we talking about Zak?
Drunk 2: She told you about that, huh?
Drunk 1: Zak was your brother!?
Drunk 2: But left out some minor details. Typical.
Drunk 1: Wow. That's messed up.
Drunk 2: I'll drink to that.
no subject
no subject
*flails*
love it!!!
no subject
Nicely done, Rachel.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Bunkmate 2: Whatever you say, lieutenant.
Bunkmate 1: That's more like it. Sir.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Uptight pilot: Oh, yes, you are. For the--
Blonde: Lima bean?
Uptight: Exactly.
Blonde: Fine. But you will pay for this.
Uptight: Don't I know it. Just eat your vegetables already.
--the mess
Overheard by the last busser in the universe
no subject
no subject
no subject
Female Pilot: (giggle) Sure! Catch!
Male Pilot: Oof. Thanks. Ugh what is with this? Did Galactica have the worst laundry system in the twelve colonies? Every towels since I have been here has shrunk! This is ridiculous!
Female Pilot: (giggles) Oh, I don't know, looks just fine to me.
Bunk Room
Overheard by D'anna Biers and film crew.
no subject